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Home: The Toast

Begin by arranging your body in a stressful position. Consider, as you set your intention, the Angriest Dog In The WorldThe dog who is so angry he cannot move. He cannot eat. He cannot sleep. He can just barely growl. Bound so tightly with tension and anger, he approaches the state of rigor mortis. Let this be your guide.

Allow your limbs to fill with resentment and indignation until they seem almost to vibrate. Send a memory of every slight, every insult, every injury you have ever received from your enemy into your fingers and toes.

Select one enemy at a time. Select them with all of the powers of discernment you possess. Imagine you have them carefully pressed into the fibers of your heart, where they are safe and warm for the moment. Show them the tenderness of an executioner with pity in his soul.

Fill your mind with thoughts, the more the better. A robustly furnished mind is a powerful mind. Open your mind to every thought you have ever had. Do not yet worry about focusing these thoughts upon the destruction of your enemies. Every thought will do. Cram your mind with them. Your thoughts are your allies, your handmaidens, and your bodyguards. Utilize them.

Picture your enemy experiencing a small, semi-public humiliation. Someone they love and admire has expressed disappointment with them. This will be the cornerstone of the temple you will build to your resentments.

Imagine yourself walking on a path toward your enemy’s house. The path is soft and yielding beneath your feet. With every step, your body feels looser and more powerful beneath you. As you approach the door, you gain several inches in height. You no longer feel the need to blink.

Mindfulness about paying gentle, focused attention to whatever petty hatred you’re experiencing in the present moment. It involves honoring the resentment you’re feeling right now.

The door of your enemy’s house opens without your having to touch the handle. Within is everyone your enemy has ever known and loved. No one can see you, and yet somehow a flicker of recognition passes across your enemy’s face as a shadow.

Concentrate on a particular word or phrase you find particularly meaningful as your mantra. If you do not have a mantra of your own, consider one of the following traditional phrases to begin with:

  • I will wear your secrets on the outside
  • I cherish your pain as a child
  • No solace, no pity, no mercy, no ending
  • My foot, your throat
  • How you suffer. How you will suffer.

Feel your spine lengthens and the muscles in your back relax as your enemy crumples to the ground before you. They have been Found Out in the way you yourself have always feared you might be. Visualize the specifics. What does your enemy’s humiliation smell like? How does your enemy’s lover sneer when he or she realizes the innumerable ways your enemy has failed to be a lovable human being? Does your enemy release a wordless bellow of anguish, or a rushed stream of explanations and apologies in a last-ditch attempt to stave off this final rejection?

Feel the tension leaving your body as you admire the scene taking place around you. Imagine a powerful energy radiating out from your enemy’s inert form and being readily absorbed by your body and mind.

Wiggle your fingers and toes in joy as your enemy’s body begins to betray them. Shrug your shoulders as you visualize every one of your enemy’s friends and lovers crossing the room to demonstrate their new loyalty to you.

When you are ready, open your eyes and experience full awareness, feeling alert and refreshed.

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