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Home: The Toast

It was not until I found the “Waves in art” and “Paintings of nude females in the sea” categories on Wikimedia Commons that I realized how big a part of art was just women seeming sexually aroused by the ocean? Not even mermaids, it’s a whole different thing. Huh, I guess!

waves1

“IT’S LIKE EVERY OCEAN WAVE IS MY NEW BOYFRIEND. GOODBYE, FRANK. HELLO, CHARLES.”

 

waves12

uuuugh this damp rock 
this foam feels so erotic
is anyone else’s skin getting clammy
GOD YES

 

waves10

you understand why I can never go back to human men, of course
what this imminent wave and I are about to have together is almost certainly going to be very special

 

waves9

GET OUT OF HERE
GET OUT OF HERE YOU KARL
I’M DATING WATER NOW
GET BACK IN YOUR DRY BOAT AND LEAVE US ALONE

 

waves8

get back in the boat, boys
we don’t need you anymore

 

waves7

if you don’t like the life that Wilhelm and I have built together you are kindly invited to fuck back off to dry land

 

waves6

never let me go, Chisholm 

 

waves4

so coy, Leonard
you’ll be back
you’ll be back

 

waves3

GET YOUR OWN WAVE, CLARICE
THIS ONE BELONGS TO ME
well he sure isn’t acting like it
he’s lapping up against me like he’s looking for a change
THAT’S JUST HOW WAVES WORK
IT DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING
YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL

 

waves2

so when are you going to come meet my mother
she keeps asking about you 
and I’m always coming out to see you but you’ve never once come back to my place
I’m sorry, darling
I don’t mean to be pushy 
I just want her to love you as much as I do
Frederick? 
please don’t punish me 
say something

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