So, Wednesday night we watched The People v OJ Simpson (which was STUPID ENTERTAINING) and I ate a funny-tasting frozen chicken patty. A few hours later, I started feeling…off? Achy and crampy. I fell asleep, and then I woke up at 3am feeling like death, and couldn’t sleep because my whole body hurt and cramped, and then when morning came I realized I couldn’t really stand or walk? Like I was just incredibly, incredibly weak. So Steve took our daughter to preschool and the babysitter offered to take the baby overnight (SOLD!) and I told my THREE FRIENDS flying in that afternoon that they would have to Uber themselves to my door.

And all day Thursday I shivered under a blanket while making occasional dashes to poop uncontrollably, and it was terrible, and I couldn’t do anything or move or walk to the kitchen and then my friends came and pretended it wasn’t weird that I was receiving them from a fainting couch with a dog draped across my useless legs. I am hoping that by the time you read this I will be slightly better.

So, basically, I did. not. do. a. link. roundup. I DID read a terrifying book about The Station nightclub fire, which helped place my temporary illness into perspective. What are YOU reading? I’m so sorry. Mallory and I are both having bad weeks. We love you.