hold the handkerchief a little higher, dear
you’re very nearly touching me
why don’t you all just crawl in here with me
jesus i can’t even die alone
even shirtless lounging doesn’t help anything
wait
come back
i’m thirsty and i don’t want to get up
perfectly comfortable, thanks for asking
this is how i like to relax
with literally all of my weight resting on my right elbow
wheeee
is that enough
is that what you want
you vulture
why bother moving
nothing else will be any more comfortable
uuuugh
i don’t deserve spinal support
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.