Men In Western Art Who Are So Nude It Makes Them Furious -The Toast

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nude1

my clothes 
like my dreams
are all behind me

 

nude2

GOD DAMN IT BUT I’M NUDE
AS NUDE AS THE HEAVENS THEMSELVES
AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO JUST KILL EVERYBODY

 

nude3

HOW CAN YOU ASK ME TO PUT THAT CLOAK ON MYSELF WHEN MY HANDS ARE ALREADY FLUNG UP IN DESPAIR
I’M TOO NAKED AND DISTRAUGHT TO GET DRESSED

 

nude4

i would rather die naked
than get up and cover this scratch and deny the world for even an instant a glimpse of my entire chest 

 

nude5

WHY MUST I BE SO HEROICALLY NUDE
SO EXQUISITELY SINEWED
SO IMPRESSIVELY BE-THIGHED THAT THIS DRAPE SCARCE COVERS MY CUM-GUTTERS

nude6

I’m the nudest man there is, Clara, and don’t you ever forget it

 

nude7

get that pile of clothes AWAY from me

 

nude8

WE’RE BOTH SO NAKED
I know – friend, I know; peace
BUT WE ARE BOTH EXTREMELY NUDE
calm yourself, lad
HOW CAN I BE CALM WHEN MY WHOLE SKIN IS OUTSIDE

 

nude9

oh dear, oh drat, I’m almost touching a clothing, fehhhh, get it awayyy

 

nude10

my god, woman
get the hell out of here
you’re barely naked
how disgusting
uncover yourself
I can’t see one of your breasts

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