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“Things Didn’t Work Out (And That’s Okay)”

“LA Is Full Of People Who Just Want Everyone Else To Also Succeed”

“I Used to Be Anxious About Flying But Now I Take Xanax When I Travel”

“I’m Glad We Communicate So Effectively Because I Think It Has Really Strengthened This Relationship”

“Here’s A Narrative About Three Seemingly Unconnected Characters Who Feel Sad For A Bit But Then Decide To Go Have A Picnic In The Park Together”

“It Just Is (So Great To Run Into You Unexpectedly At This Party)”

“War Is Unpleasant So I Try Not To Dwell On It Or Its Effects On The Human Psyche”

“I’m Upset With You But I Don’t Have Anything Bitingly Witty Or Acerbic To Say To You, Actually”

“We Are Pretty Well-Adjusted Despite Having Achieved Unwanted Fame At An Early Age”

“Sometimes In The Morning I Am Petrified And Can’t Move (But Then I Realize It’s Only Because My Cat Fell Asleep On My Chest Again)”

“My Mom Really Tried”

“You Are What You Love (Which Makes Me A Latte On A Crisp Fall Day)”

“A Man/Me/Then Jim All Went To IKEA To Pick Out A End Table”

“I Never Felt So Wicked As When I Played That Harmless April Fools Day Joke On You Last Year”

“Let Me Back In (And We’ll All Go For Ice Cream)”

“Baby You’re Bad News (And We Should Probably Start Seeing Other People)”

“Hail To Whatever You Found (In The Dollar Zone Section At Target)”

“Sometimes Parents Aren’t Always There For Us But We Like Them Anyway”

“Death Isn’t Scary To Think About, Not At All”

“This Song About A Hunting Accident Probably Doesn’t Contain A Metaphor For Abortion”

“Advances in Technology Are Not To Be Feared And I’m Not The Least Bit Concerned About Robots Invading Human Society (Or My Heart)”

“Living in LA Never Makes Me Feel Sad or Alone”

“Go Ahead (And Have a Second Piece of Pie, Why Not?)”

“I’ve Only Ever Had Jobs That Were Mentally Stimulating And Creatively Challenging”

“Being On The Road Can Be Lonely But Luckily I Have a Pretty Great Support Network of Friends and Loved Ones”

“This Is Not A Song In Which The Narrator Is Having An Affair With Her Best Friend’s Husband”

“Sometimes I Have Dreams About My Childhood But They’re Not Worth Writing About Because I Reflect On Those Days With Fondness”

“Maybe God Exists And Maybe Not, But Either Way, Let’s Not Worry Too Much About What Happens When We Die”

“I Hope My Ex Is Happier and More Fulfilled In His Next Relationship”

“Women Don’t Have A Harder Time Establishing Themselves In The World Than Men Do, It’s Probably A Pretty Similar Experience”

“Runnin’ Around (Tryin’ To Find You The Perfect Birthday Present)”

“Well, You Left (Your Keys On The Counter Again, Silly)”

“I Never (Want To Make My In-Laws Feel Left Out So Let’s Invite Them To Go On Vacation With Us)”

“The Absence of God (Is Probably Just The Manifestation Of The Feelings Of Loneliness We All Have At Times, No Big Deal)”

“So Long (And Thanks For All The Good Times, I Wish You Nothing But The Best)”

“They Say California Is A Recipe For A Black Hole And I Say That Seems Like An Unfair Assessment”

“I’ve Never Had An Existential Crisis, Have You?”

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Meryl Williams is a Chicago journalist who recently moved to Portland to write a book about roller derby. You can sign up for her awesome TinyLetter here.

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