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Home: The Toast

ZENOBIA: I would like to discuss the possibility of hiring another housekeeper if Mattie ever gets married
as you know I’m chronically ill
and the doctor insists I have a live-in carer to help treat my condition

ETHAN FROME: jesus
when did u get so cold

ZENOBIA: it’s just that
as we have both acknowledged
Mattie is in fact a very bad housekeeper
and it’s quite painful for me to watch you do things for her you long ago ceased to do for me

ETHAN FROME: wow
so just because i leave u alone in bed all day
but shave and get dressed up to impress your maid
u think that justifies your objecting to me going to interrupt her date right now??

ZENOBIA: why do you even have to pick her up
why cant her date bring her home

ETHAN FROME: you are straight up the cruelest woman in christendom
no wonder you stay alone in bed all day

ZENOBIA: i literally cannot get up without help

ETHAN FROME: maybe leaving you in bed alone all day will teach you to treat me with a little kindness
like how the maid treats me


ZENOBIA: welcome home
I waited up for you

ETHAN FROME: you heartless bitch
will you stop at NOTHING to ruin my life


ZENOBIA: in some ways it is hard for me to watch you flirting with our maid, who is also my primary caretaker, who is also my actual cousin, who is young and healthy in ways that I am not, in our actual house

ETHAN FROME: WELL THEN MAYBE I WILL JUST DIE
THEN WILL YOU BE HAPPY

ZENOBIA: I
no
that’s not what I want

ETHAN FROME: wow
really NOTHING I do pleases you huh


ZENOBIA: I’m in pain again
I’m going to see the doctor

ETHAN FROME: you heartless fist of a woman
always in pain and often in a bad mood and going to see doctors and spending money on treatment

ZENOBIA: it’s because i’m in a lot of pain
all of those things are because i am in constant pain that no one is able to effectively and consistently treat

ETHAN FROME: mean women are a mystery to me


ETHAN FROME: welcome back, Zeen
me and Mattie broke your favorite red dish you asked us not to use while you were gone
if it helps we weren’t having sex
just staring at each other so much we broke your dish
Z if it helps I don’t have sex with her I just wanted to buried with her and love her more than any woman I’ve ever met
I’m only cheating you of your emotional rights as my wife
not the sex ones
if that helps
I hope it helps
anyhow we couldn’t fix the dish

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