76. We say, on the contrary, that the papal pardons are not able to remove the very least of venial sins, so far as its guilt is concerned.
no sin so wee and eensy it won’t droogle you down into hell, chums
77. It is said that even St. Peter, if he were now Pope, could not bestow greater graces; this is blasphemy against St. Peter and against the pope.
POPE vs. POPE vs. POPE
78. We say, on the contrary, that even the present pope, and any pope at all, has greater graces at his disposal; to wit, the Gospel, powers, gifts of healing, etc., as it is written in I. Corinthians xii.
Oh, you’ve got an indulgence? That’s fine, that’s fine…all I’ve got is a little something I like to call THE GOSPEL, EVER *HEARD OF IT*
79. To say that the cross, emblazoned with the papal arms, which is set up, is of equal worth with the Cross of Christ, is blasphemy.
QUIT DRAWING ON THE CROSS EVERYBODY
80. The bishops, curates and theologians who allow such talk to be spread among the people, will have an account to render.
BISHES, CURES, THEOLS, YOU’VE BEEN TALKING AN AWFUL LOT BUT DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY
81. This unbridled preaching of pardons makes it no easy matter, even for learned men, to rescue the reverence due to the pope from slander, or even from the shrewd questionings of the laity.
POPE I’M TRYING NOT TO TALK SHIT ABOUT YOU BUT YOU KEEP BUILDING SHIT-TALKING ROADS RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY HOUSE AND HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO AVOID THEM
82. To wit: — “Why does not the pope empty purgatory, for the sake of holy love and of the dire need of the souls that are there, if he redeems an infinite number of souls for the sake of miserable money with which to build a Church? The former reasons would be most just; the latter is most trivial.”
IF YOU WANT TO CHEW GUM YOU BETTER BRING ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE CLASS
83. Again: — “Why are mortuary and anniversary masses for the dead continued, and why does he not return or permit the withdrawal of the endowments founded on their behalf, since it is wrong to pray for the redeemed?”
YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA BUILD AN ENDOWMENT WITH IT SO WHERE’S MY ENDOWMENT OR WHERE IS MY MONEY
84. Again: — “What is this new piety of God and the pope, that for money they allow a man who is impious and their enemy to buy out of purgatory the pious soul of a friend of God, and do not rather, because of that pious and beloved soul’s own need, free it for pure love’s sake?”
NO NEED TO GET TESTY I’M JUST ASKING QUESTIONS
85. Again: — “Why are the penitential canons long since in actual fact and through disuse abrogated and dead, now satisfied by the granting of indulgences, as though they were still alive and in force?”
I’M JUST CURIOUS IS ALL
86. Again: — “Why does not the pope, whose wealth is to-day greater than the riches of the richest, build just this one church of St. Peter with his own money, rather than with the money of poor believers?”
WHERE IS MY POPE CITY
87. Again: — “What is it that the pope remits, and what participation does he grant to those who, by perfect contrition, have a right to full remission and participation?”
I FEEL LIKE YOU’RE NICER TO ASHLEIGH THAN YOU ARE TO ME BUT WE’VE ALL BEEN FRIENDS THE SAME AMOUNT OF TIME AND ACTUALLY I WAS THE ONE WHO ORGANIZED YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY SO IF ANYONE HAS A RIGHT TO BE THE ONE YOU’RE NICEST TO IT’S ME
88. Again: — “What greater blessing could come to the Church than if the pope were to do a hundred times a day what he now does once, and bestow on every believer these remissions and participations?”
IF YOU BROUGHT ENOUGH GUM FOR THE WHOLE CLASS WHY NOT BRING ENOUGH FOR THE WHOLE SCHOOL
89. “Since the pope, by his pardons, seeks the salvation of souls rather than money, why does he suspend the indulgences and pardons granted heretofore, since these have equal efficacy?”
IF YOU’RE DOING WHAT YOU LOVE WHY ARE YOU CHARING FOR IT
90. To repress these arguments and scruples of the laity by force alone, and not to resolve them by giving reasons, is to expose the Church and the pope to the ridicule of their enemies, and to make Christians unhappy.
WE ARE JUST ASKING QUESTIONS THERE’S NO REASON TO GET MAD
91. If, therefore, pardons were preached according to the spirit and mind of the pope, all these doubts would be readily resolved; nay, they would not exist.
YOU HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE THIS ALLLLL GO AWAY
92. Away, then, with all those prophets who say to the people of Christ, “Peace, peace,” and there is no peace!
GET OUTTA HERE YOU PEACE-CLUCKERS
93. Blessed be all those prophets who say to the people of Christ, “Cross, cross,” and there is no cross!
NO PEACE NO CROSS NO SERVICE
94. Christians are to be exhorted that they be diligent in following Christ, their Head, through penalties, deaths, and hell;
EVERYBODY GO TO HELL FOR JESUS
95. And thus be confident of entering into heaven rather through many tribulations, than through the assurance of peace.
SURELY EVERYONE WHO READS THIS WILL REALIZE I’M JUST INTERESTED IN REFORMING THE CHURCH NOT STARTING ANOTHER ONE THAT WILL LEAD TO CENTURIES OF RELIGIOUS CONFLICT
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.