Skip to the article, or search this site

Home: The Toast

Sad Kit Harington looks like someone who’s three days into his new vegan diet when he’s invited to a family barbeque.

Sad Kit Harington looks like he bought a new hat he’d convinced himself he could pull off in the store, but once he tried it on at home he realised he just wasn’t a ‘hat person’.

Sad Kit Harington looks like that one cousin who was forced to babysit you as a kid, because your aunt and uncle thought it would be a good ‘growing experience’ for him, but he wasn’t interested, so you spent most of your time sitting around and watching PG-13 movies, eating cereal that had too much milk, and the M&Ms and lint balls you found beneath the living room couch. 

Sad Kit Harington looks like someone who’s seriously considered getting a mullet at least once in his life.

Sad Kit Harington looks like he just finished his milkshake and says he’s fine and doesn’t want another one, but he spends the rest of your date staring at your milkshake and inwardly hoping you’ll give him yours.

Sad Kit Harington looks like he’s just watched Avengers: Age of Ultron for the very first time.

Sad Kit Harington looks like someone who runs an environmental blog.

Sad Kit Harington looks like that one crow that never gets to sit with all the other crows on the telephone wire.

Sad Kit Harington looks like he’d buy a lava lamp unironically.

Sad Kit Harington looks like he’d put that lava lamp on during sex.

Sad Kit Harington looks like an ex-boyfriend who’s totally okay with you getting married—you guys aren’t like those other couples, remember? You’re cool; it’s fine; he’s totally cool—but then he shows up way too early to the ceremony and makes awkward chitchat with your extended family about how he always loved the idea of a spring wedding, and he would have liked to have chrysanthemums, too, if you had gotten married, back when you were dating, because you were pretty serious after all, before that ‘Paul guy’ came along, ha ha ha, and then spends the whole of the reception next to the wedding gifts, making off at the end of the night with two gravy bowls and a figurine dog.

Sad Kit Harington looks like he accidentally stepped on a snail and he’s been feeling bad about it all day.

Sad Kit Harington looks like a black cocker spaniel who needs to pee, but it’s raining outside and he doesn’t want to get his little paws wet.

Sad Kit Harington looks like a guy who’d make you a mix tape, and then watch as you listen to it and get quietly upset when you didn’t find a deeper meaning in all the song lyrics he chose specifically for you.

Sad Kit Harington looks like he’s in the middle of a business presentation in his best skirt suit when he realises he’s only shaved one leg, and he thinks everyone can totally tell (and they’re judging him for it).

Sad Kit Harington looks like he’s forgotten to get mini marshmallows for his cup of hot chocolate, but it’s too late now because all the stores are closed.

Sad Kit Harington looks like an upturned mop that hasn’t been properly cared for.

Sad Kit Harington looks like an old man who’s been given the chance to relive one day in his past, but instead of enjoying himself, all he can think of is how quickly the time flies, of how young and spry he once was, and how we need to take advantage of our youth and go after our dreams, to fight for life, liberty, and true love! Before it’s all too late.

Sad Kit Harington looks like he’s trying to break in a pair of too tight jeans.

Sad Kit Harington looks like he cut open an overripe avocado.

$
Select Payment Method

Loading ...

Personal Info

Donation Total: $1.00

Rebecca Ferrier is a UK-based writer and journalist. In 2015 she was shortlisted for the Tibor Jones Pageturner Prize and celebrated by drinking inordinate amounts of gin and watching Miss Congeniality in her PJs.

Alyson is currently undergoing a Master's in Poetry at the University of Edinburgh. She does all her Sudoku in pen.

Add a comment

Skip to the top of the page, search this site, or read the article again

(Close this.)