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Home: The Toast

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Teardrop Diamond Hanging Vase, $1.99 (was $4.95) My best friend in the whole wide world has a cluster of these hanging over her kitchen island and it is so infuriating. Some even have ivy rooting in them. First off, must be nice to have a handy huzz who’ll rig up a complicated system to even hang them from in the first place. Second off, how do you find the time to change the water and wash them and keep ’em all sparkly when I am sitting over here drinking coffee out of the same unwashed mug for a week*?

V566860Colorblock Plunge One-piece, $29.99 (was $58.50) Apparently Vicky’s Secret is discontinuing their swim and clothing lines to focus exclusively on covering nipples with layers upon layers of foam. And covering buttcracks with negative layers of thread. Everything is on clearance, is what I’m saying.

64311.0.zoomGrow Up Leaf Necklace, $16.80 at checkout (was $35) Eat your heart out, Countess.

29033Lacy Caftan, $139.95 This isn’t on sale, but I just really want to talk about Soft Surroundings. Does anyone else get their catalogs and go through them over dinner with their toddler, asking the two-year-old to pick out the best item on each page? It’s like if a Valium plus one glass of wine decided to become clothing, and that is a compliment. Speaking of toddlers…

image2xxlLolly Nail Stickers, $7 (were $18.50) 

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Black Tassel Platform Shoes, $60 (were $160) ‘Twas suggested to me this eve that, considering my twisted ankle’s disinterest in healing, I should try platforms as an alternative to heels. I’ve never been so offended! Are these cute?

37412533_067_bAlbeit Eau De Parfum, $29.95 (was $48) Life stinks right now, yeah? Maybe this can help? It’s floral with “creamy musk” which sounds like it might do the trick.

36817757_011_aArabella Gown, $600 (was $2,200) Blinded by this discount.

504315789_1_tabletopPearlized Backgammon Set, $990 (was $1,650) I once asked a crush if he would teach me backgammon and he said no. Men.

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