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dog is my co-pilot


Best. Opening. For. A. Bear. Longread. Ever.

The first bear appeared in town one morning in late August. It was a little after eight, and Nikolai, an elderly pensioner, had just come out to walk his cat.



The cost of closing the “Mississippi Burning” murder case:

On June 21, 1964, three young men volunteering to register African Americans voters during Freedom Summer were murdered by members of the Ku Klux Klan and police after they began investigating the burning of a local church. Over half a century later, one day before the 52nd anniversary of the deadly attack on James Chaney, Andrew Goodman, and Michael Schwerner, the Mississippi attorney general declared the case officially closed.


tfw your mom signs you up for a cult:

The breaking point was earlier tonight. I started getting phone calls from the program, asking me personal questions that I felt were not necessary for a series of pep-talks over a week-long period. The man on the phone wanted to know my biggest insecurities, promised me the world, and basically said I was destined for this program and that they ‘needed me’. I jokingly told him he sounded a lot like someone recruiting for a cult and I was met with nervous laughter.

So I looked up the name of the program online, you might be able to guess it but let’s just say it happens to share the first name of a republican that ran against obama in 2012. Besides the official website for the program, all the articles were about how it’s a very dangerous cult and a pyramid scheme and it’s even been convicted by the US government under a different name. So what do I do? How bad are cults like this, and is it my place to tell my mom that this is crazy? I don’t want to take away a major source of happiness away from her, but it seems like this is a program that takes and takes forever until people are broke or have nothing else in their life :( Gosh dangit, she’s usually so smart and reasonable, but religious fanatacism runs in our family and I don’t want to lose my mom over this.

Tl;dr: my mom signed me up for a “spiritual camp” which turned out to be a quasi-cult initiation. Her new lifestyle (new friends, surge in happiness, increased community involvement) costs thousands of dollars and she’s a single mom putting two kids through school. What would you do?


you do not know what poison is, sir:

I’ve been living with a man for seven years. We’re both divorced. He has two kids, 26 and 16 years old, and I have none. I have a nice nest egg in the bank. “Tim” was in the process of going bankrupt when I met him, and I figured, I love him; he’s been through a lot; why shouldn’t I help support him and his kids? He works and is well-paid, but things are tight for him owing to child-support payments. Fast-forward to now. I pay the mortgage, I pay the car payment, I pay the condo fee and the homeowner’s and car insurance, and I usually pay when we go out to dinner. I’ve paid thousands in school tuition and dental bills for his older kid. I am paying for a three-week trip to Europe that Tim and his 16-year-old and I will be taking soon. It drives me crazy that he never says, or seems to feel, things like, “Thank you for all you do for me and my family.” His position is that gratitude is poison to a relationship. My feeling is that Tim isn’t doing our relationship any good by seeming to take for granted what I intend as kindness and generosity. Can you bring one or the other of us around so that he doesn’t feel like a toady but I don’t continue to feel taken advantage of?


On returning to Fukushima:

Yanai is keen to show me his menagerie. His prized specimen is Boo, a boar named for the sound, in Japanese, that a pig makes. After the Fukushima disaster, wild boars came down from the mountains and roamed the evacuation zone, tearing up gardens and ransacking houses. They can still be seen in Naraha, trotting along the road at night. Boo is the size of a small, snaggle-toothed dog. He snorts and gnaws at Yanai’s shin. “They’re not very friendly to people,” says Yanai, shooing the pig away with his foot. “But I’m determined to make him my pet.”


Black Nerd Problems is where I get all my news now:

It’s time for the parlay outside of Winterfell and everyone is filling their roles. Sansa is pumping herself up, Jon is barely holding it together and Ramsay is being the absolute worst. Ramsay wants an all out surrender, for Sansa to be returned, and for these cats to kneel before the true warden of the North. Jon is like, naw, fam, let’s settle this on some mano-e-mano shit. Ramsay is like… hard pass. Fuck I look like giving up my strength just so you can flex in front of your wildlings and 10-year old lords. Speaking of which, Lady Mormont was not here for this fuckboi shit. She staring through Ramsay’s entire soul.

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this guy (his wife DID NOT KNOW, BY THE WAY):

Ari Nagel, who has an underground sperm distribution system well-documented by The New York Post, isn’t actually the kindly jizz benefactor we’d all thought we’d finally found.

It turns out there are no good men masturbating in public restrooms to help women. On June 12, an article about Nagel showcased his generosity, explaining that he’s sired 22 children by giving away his seed. Sometimes he even very graciously had sex with women in same-sex couples, but it’s not how it sounds, okay?



living the actual dream (going to see Celine Dion in Vegas):

At Caesar’s Colosseum will call, a group of women in their 70s waiting in line behind me groused about the very short skirts of the college-age women standing with their parents in front of me. “Ridiculous,” they said. If I’d taught them the word “THOT” they would have been like “Great, we will use that all the time, won’t we, Debbie?”

The college-age women marveled at the photographs of Celine. “She’s 48 and she still looks, like, good,” one expressed, astonished. Her friend said, “I know, wow, it’s amazing, she’s been around forever!” I wanted to ask them what they expected an extremely rich, attractive 48-year-old woman to look like. A broiled steak? The inside of Keith Richard’s asshole? But I said nothing. I looked at Celine’s serene face and I felt love for all these people.


THIS IS BANANAS:

On Monday night, the Trump campaign filed its monthly Federal Election Commission campaign disclosure report for May. The headline was that his fundraising was anemic and he finished the month with just $1.3 million on hand, a pittance for a presidential nominee.

But buried in Trump’s 1699-page report was something much weirder. The Trump campaign made $35,000 in payments to an entity called “Draper Sterling” for “web advertising.” Three $10,000 payments and one $5,000 payment were placed on the campaign’s American Express card on the same day.


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