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Hey Mallory, Nicole, Nicole, and The Toast community!!!

Thanks for an amazing three years. We will literally miss you. See you all for brunch? Or has anyone heard of “Sleep No More”? Seems so cute but also scary! Let us know!

Xo,

Michelle & Caroline


TO: Ladies List-Serv
FROM: Katie
SUBJ: Slack????

Hey ladies,

Katie here. Thanks for meeting me off-thread (the chain about Nicole’s CC debt solutions was getting a little too deep, IMO!)

I was just searching our archives — can you believe we’ve been emailing each other nonstop for 12 years? It’s like, Wanna Feel Old? (That’s a Twitter joke lol.) Email feels super antiquated to me, tbh. It’s like, it’s 2016. We could do a GroupMe, or a WhatsAPP or a Snapchat or a Twitter DM or a Slack…the list honestly goes on. If anyone knows how to code we could also make our own app for chatting?

If anyone has any suggs I am all ears!!!

CEO of technology,

Katie


TO: Ladies List-Serv
FROM: Ali
SUBJ: RE: Slack???? RIP MORGS’ GRANDMOTHER

Hey Ladies!

Thanks for getting the ball rolling, Katie! I’ve been SO busy this summer! I’m literally writing this email on my phone as I’m getting a mani/pedi/argentinian (it’s like a brazilian, but more rejuvenating).

I’ll never forget where I was when I heard the SAD news about Morgie’s grandmother — I was just leaving Matt’s (Wharton, ’03, Harvard Business School, ’07) apartment. We met a week ago and he is GORGEOUS and to quote my hero, “he’s so tall and handsome like hell” and we had the most amazing night!!!! He’s really busy, and I am too, but we were able to meet up from like 1-6:30a. In the morning he made me coffee (Nespresso!!!!) and it was soo adorable and he put it in this to-go cup for me, like how funny is it that he just had those lying around in his apartment LOL.

Katie, can you run a Lexis Nexis on Matt?? And also, all of Matt’s ex-girlfriends going back to high school. Also, do you think it’s a dealbreaker if someone says they’re voting for Trump?? Election years are so stressful.

Anyhoo! I was leaving Matt’s place when I got the text about Morgie’s grandmother dying sadface and I think it’s really important we mobilize and are there for Morgie. We need to help plan the most classy and beautiful memorial of all time, while ~celebrating~ her life and also paying homage to the trailblazing women that have come before us (the Jackie Kennedy Onassises, the Grace Kellys, and the Kris Jenners). Also Morgan’s grandma it turns out lived in a very fancy Park Avenue apartment and comes from steel money which was like turn of the century version of apps, and it would be really cool to introduce ourselves to that side of Morgie’s family, while 10000% being there for Morgan in her time of need. In no particular order, I think we should focus on:

1) NYT obit — katie, can you use your press contacts??

2) Should I sing an aria??

3) Out of respect to Morgan’s grandmother and out of respect to this time of year, should we do a sangria station??

4) Obvs we’ll all need to wear something somber. Please text me your black dress options and I’ll give you my feedback. It’s really important we adhere to the “death” theme.

5) Speeches — Morgan should speak, but she’s terrible at public speaking so maybe one of us (me?) should read her eulogy for her??

I love you all very much. Life is so fleeting! Please respond to this ASAP.

xx, Ali

“I can’t explain to you the reason you do the things you do, Evan.” – Chad, The Bachelorette


TO: Ladies List-Serv
FROM: Jen
SUBJ: I’m out!! Sry :) (RIP!)

Hi Ladies!

The hubs and I are going to be out East for most of the summer, so I’m probably not going to be able to make this soiree/memorial! Have fun for me though!!!!!

You’re all invited out anytime!!! But please ask me first with plenty of notice. We are so booked up this summer, it’s ridic. Brad is so ready to get me pregnant, lol!! He’s even vetting some nannies and au pairs that some of his colleagues at work recommended. He’s gonna be such a great dad!!!!

love ya!

Jen


TO: Ladies List-Serv
FROM: Ash
SUBJ: RE: I’m out!! Sry :) (RIP!)

Hey Ladies,

So sorry to hear about your grandma, Morgs. Thanks for taking the lead, Ali. I know Morgs’ grandma would have really appreciated it, even though when we stayed at her beach home in Newport, Rhode Island you insulted the decor and she definitely heard you but yes, RIP for sure <3 <3 <3

Do you wanna do like a derby theme? I just bought a new hat that I am dying to wear. If I send a pic will you guys tell me if it looks good? Just Snapchatted it.

<3

Ash


TO: Ladies List-Serv
FROM: Katie
SUBJ: SLACK

Hey,

Just as a reminder, I made a Slack chatroom to promote efficiency!

XO,

Katie, a journalist reporting on the intersection of tech and internet culture


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Nicole, Gracie
FROM: Caitlin
SUBJ: Funeral hashtags?

Hiiiii!

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the derby idea!!! So cute! I have a Lilly Pulitzer dress that’s perfs for this occash! The hashtag should be tasteful, yet appropriate —

#ThisMemorialIsToDieFor

or #YouUsedToCallMeOnMyRotary

or #IsItTooLateNowToSayGoodbye

or #AshesByTheOcean

Pls let me know so I can inc it on the invite!!! What’s a really somber gif to include??

Should we contact Morgan’s fam, or do this as a surprise?? Which is more thoughtful??

Ali, Matt is a babe!!!! Are you gonna bring him as your +1? I found his ex-gf on Insta, she is sooooo pretty!!!! Really classy, like GOOP meets Allison Williams.

When are we doing the memorial, the next few weeks are cray for me!

luvs,

Caitlin ~the original I AM CAIT~


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Gracie
FROM: Nicole
SUBJ: Coupon for Slack??

Hey Ladies!

So weird, someone must have taken me off this thread by mistake??? It might be really fun to DIY this memorial, as like a nod to the Depression like when Morg’s grandma was our age? That could be superrrr adorable! Like BYO sangria??? I have a really cute black romper with cut outs!! Can’t wait to wear!!!

Kate, I love Slack and have been dying to try it!!! Does anyone has a password I can borrow LOL??

What’s everyone doing tonight? Should we do a fun memorial planning sesh?? I’m p open! Morgs’ uncle is HAWT, how old do you think is too old???

xx, Nic


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Gracie, Nicole
FROM: Katie
SUBJ: SLACK????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ladies!

sorry nicole, you must have gotten lost in all the cc’s and the bcc’s haha (journo-speak!) Do you use Outlook or gmail? Believe it or not, it matters. Feel free to ping me if you wanna take this tech convo offline for the DL. LMK!

I love the idea of a Depression-themed funeral for several reasons! One, themes are really in. Two, funerals are already depressing so everyone will come dressed for success (or whatever). We could also serve jello salads; does anyone know how to cook? Do you think we could seamless? Before you ask, no, I don’t have a coupon, Nicole!

Instead of doing a collage of pics of Morgs’ grandmother, does anyone want to try to commission an oil painting??? I feel like there has to be an NYU student who wants to build their portfolio of clips.

Will the church have wifi?? Should we livestream???? LMK…

also FYI this would be seriously so much easier on Slack!!!!!

Best and warm kind regards,

Katie


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Gracie, Nicole
FROM: Ashley
SUBJ: What is Brexit

Hey ladies,

Can someone do a quick Google of Brexit? So confused. Does this have to do with gun control?? I am very against that btw. #ImWithHer. LMK. Brexit (sp?) is all over the news today, and it cut into makeovers on GMA (rude!)

A shley

S sends

H er

L ove

E specially to

Y ou

^^ please remember to take my twitter poll about my new sig!


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Gracie
FROM: Nicole
SUBJ: RE: What is Brexit

If anyone gets ahold of some Brexit, LMK, would love to try it!!! Do you feel it the next day?

I love the Depression-themed funeral! So goth!!! I’m gonna wear a choker and stay on-theme with the Dead of Knight Kyle lip kit!!! Should we do a group order??

xoxoxoxoxox Nicole <3

p.s. If anyone hasn’t signed up for Uber or Lyft (fun ride-sharing apps, I’ll send you my code!)


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Nicole
FROM: Gracie
SUBJ: RE: What is Brexit

Hey everyone,

Hope you’ve all been well and are having a fantastic summer so far.

Thanks for letting me know about Morgan — I just texted her also. I was thinking I will send her some flowers (if anyone else wants to go in on it, I’d be happy to put your name on the card too, just let me know) and it might be nice if we take her out to cheer her up. Losing a grandparent is really hard and just sucks so much. I think we should let her family plan the memorial, and just show up and support her any way we can.

Gracie

https://www.hillaryclinton.com/donate/


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Nicole, Gracie
FROM: Katie
SUBJ: RE: What is Brexit

Sort of a passive (but cute!!!) plan, Gracie! I think Hillary would want you to Lean In a little more ;) Needs a better hook, angle, graf, lede, hed, deck, meta, etc. Think about the clicks, G! Can speak more to this on Slack.

More soon, at soul cycle now!

– K.


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Nicole, Gracie
FROM: Ali
SUBJ: HAMILTON THEMED FUNERAL?

Lightbulb moment: what if we did a Hamilton-themed funeral???? Like #HAM4GRAM

It’s so on-trend right now, and I could reach out to Lin-Manuel on twitter to see if he’s free??

xx Ali

“If you stand for nothing Burr what’ll you fall for?” – Hamilton

“Sorry, I ain’t sorry” -Beyoncé, “Lemonade”


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Nicole, Gracie
FROM: Katie
SUBJ: HAMILTON THEMED FUNERAL?

hey!

great idea! maggie’s cousins love hamilton, do you think they’d want to do a tribute song at the wake????

any ideas for mashups????

katie

ps meet me in the slack “room where it happens”!!!


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Gracie
FROM: Nicole
SUBJ: HAMILTON THEMED FUNERAL?

do you think i could ask for comp tix for research???

nic


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Nicole, Gracie
FROM: Jen
SUBJ: HAMILTON THEMED FUNERAL?

Hey Ladies!

Can you PLEASE take me off this thread?? I am just sooo swamped with the reno, I don’t think I’ll be able to squeeze in Morgs’ grandma’s funeral — honestly, if she had died any other time (post-August) I could totally fit it in!!!

Don’t hate me, but I’ve seen Hamilton so many times already!!! Brad keeps getting me tickets on nights where he has to work late and stay at the office overnight! He’s so thoughtful!!!!

What’s slack?? Is it one of those before-work dance parties I saw on The Today Show?? Honestly, you girls keep me young!

x, Jen


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Nicole, Gracie
FROM: Katie
SUBJ: HAMILTON THEMED FUNERAL?

Okay I feel like I have to take control here:

Ali – Outfits. Think Revolutionary War meets Mean Girls Halloween. Historical, but still hott!

Nicole – Food. What did Hamilton people usually eat? NVM, too much work. Can Sweetgreen cater?

Ash – choral arrangements. Can you print sheet music from your office?

Should we sell tickets to help fundraise for funeral costs? hear those are very expensive.

(And I will do PR for the event.)

Jen can you do marketing?

– K.


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Nicole, Gracie
FROM: Ali
SUBJ: HAMILTON THEMED FUNERAL?

Aw, I seriously love all these ideas Katie!!!!

Really quick changes, below:

Caitlin — I think we should aim for a “hot widow” look. Something very Jackie O./what Kim would wear to Kanye’s funeral. Please send me pinterest options this afternoon so I can veto accordingly.

Nicole – I actually love the Hamilton food idea. Can you pls source caterers that specialize in the Revolutionary era? But like, no rabbits pls. I want to eat really clean and holistically.

Ash – Should we look into an acapella rendition of the entirely of Lemonade?? Choral arrangements are okay, I guess, but I feel we can be more creative, and it’s kind of a downer. Haven’t these people been though enough??

Otherwise, I love all these ideas!!!!!!!!!

Gotta get back to this important meeting!!!

Ali

“Work work work work work” – Rihanna


TO: Ali
FROM: Katie
SUBJ: Why?

Ali –

taking this off-thread a sec.

i read in nymag that women shouldn’t start statements with “i feel” but i feel you just changed all of my ideas????

lmk!

katie


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Nicole, Gracie
FROM: Katie
SUBJ: HAMILTON THEMED FUNERAL?

Hey Ladies,

Just talked to Ali via DM (Slack allows private rooms, too! Wanna know more? Just ask!)

Forget her ideas, stick with mine.

This funeral is SO going viral.

Katie


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Nicole, Gracie
FROM: Ali
SUBJ: HAMILTON THEMED FUNERAL?

Hey Ladies!

This is soooooo weird! I just got a google alert for Morgan (I have one set for each of you <3, love my squad!!) and apparently the funeral happened last week????

Has anyone texted Morgan???

Should we just take her to brunch this weekend to comfort her?

I’m thinking party brunch, but LMK if anyone else has a better idea… We should really get on it ASAP.

xx, Ali

“Here’s the thing, Kanye: you’re cool.” – Lena Dunham, in reaction to the “Famous” music video

“Even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes.” – Countess LuAnn de Lesseps


TO: Ladies List-Serv, Nicole, Gracie
FROM: Katie
SUBJ: HAMILTON THEMED FUNERAL?

ladies,

there’s a slack integration that would have helped remind us the exact deets of the funeral. it’s really fucked up, IMO, that morgan’s family lost their matriarch AND did not get a chance to see Hamilton.

it’s best you take me off these emails if you continue to ignore the technology that is evolving all around us.

i’m having dinner with gracie tonight.

goodbye,

katie

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Caroline Moss is the deputy editor of culture at Tech Insider. She's also written for the New York Times and Cosmopolitan. She's tweeted over 100,000 times. Michelle Markowitz is a comedy writer, storyteller, and bachelorette party apologist in New York. She can be found subtweeting Cory Booker @michmarkowitz.

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