By Abbey Fenbert

Abbey Fenbert is a nomadic playwright from Detroit, MI. She has an MFA from Boston University and a cursory knowledge of classic lit from PBS Kids.

  1. GENIUS: Ghostwriter manipulates letters of text in books, newspapers, what have you, to form clues that help the youths solve mysteries. His abilities transcend anagrammar. Most likely because he is a ghost.

    SUIT #3: What does he look like?

    GENIUS: Kind of like a feed icon.

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  2. What makes some women cross to the nether-centuries is beyond me. Here is an ordered list, from Horrifying to Most Horrifying, of women who have traveled to the Past.

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  3. EXEC #1: Tails?

    THE ANIMATOR: Yep.

    EXEC #1: Clothes?

    THE ANIMATOR: About half.

    [diligent note-taking]

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  4. A play is a movie that can spit on you.

    A play is a screaming book.

    A play lowers night cholesterol and decreases your risk of standing.

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  5. Previously by Abbey Fenbert: The Pitch Meeting for Wishbone EXEC: It’s a quiz show. QUIZMASTER: What is Jeopardy! EXEC: Um. Danger. Peril. Risk of harm or failure. Did you think I didn’t know what it meant? […] EXEC: I know what words mean. I went to college. I’m a junior vice president at NBC. QUIZMASTER: Who is Brian! EXEC: I am. […] EXEC: I’m Brian. [the silence is long, and it is painful, though…

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  6. It’s time to face some hard truths.

    Let’s Be Real: We’re not Elizabeth. If we’re anybody in this saga, we’re dark-clad Mary, who thinks conversation is better than balls. You know what, Mary? Conversation IS a better way to get to know people and we get you, we totally get you.

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  7. Previously by Abbey Fenbert: The Pitch Meeting for Wishbone On my honor: The horse was too high. I was no coward. It’s just there was an assessment, and logic deemed the horse was way too high up. I will never be good at selling things. Dad will never take the cookie sales sheet “to his work” and sell boxes by the dozen, yet I will covet the catalogue of prizes and imagine that thermos with…

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  8. VISIONARY: So there’s this dog. PBS SUITS: We’re listening. VISIONARY: And he loves books. [nodding, nodding] VISIONARY: He knows all about classic books. SUIT #1: Adorable. SUIT #2: Like a cartoon dog? VISIONARY: No, no. A live Jack Russell Terrier. […] VISIONARY: He belongs to a boy named Joe. SUIT #1: Nice. SUIT #3: And Joe reads him the books? VISIONARY: No, Joe couldn’t care less about books. SUIT #3: Oh. Okay. VISIONARY: Joe and…

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