Previous entries in the DUI series can be found here

I grew up in a dry, Catholic family in a Midwestern state, and I was just barely beginning to secretly navigate the world of alcohol by the time I graduated high school. So I did what anyone in my position would do, and enrolled at a party school in the heart of the Bible Belt, whose beautiful campus and sweet local community made it such that if you squinted a little and kind of plugged your ears, you could pretend you were at a small, private liberal-arts college on the East Coast. On certain weekends, however, the campus became so saturated with bros in neon tank tops, that you had no choice but to join in or physically retreat into total isolation. One of these weekends was the weekend of the Little 500.

The Little 500 is a bike race, but more importantly, it is an entire week where students just do not attend class in order to drink more efficiently. Students sit on their porches blaring pop songs, playing cornhole, destroying property, and funneling alcohol into every available orifice.

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