Anne Thériault’s previous work for The Toast can be found here.

Friends, we need to have a chat about the swaggest English monarch ever.

No, it's not Elizabeth I, but that's a good guess. Her swag was deep, but not quite deep enough.

It's not Victoria either, even though she was a badass didn't care what people thought, not even when her subjects were pissed about the

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If you're anything like me (and if you aren't, MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE – THINK ABOUT IT), you've definitely spent a lot of your time objectively ranking Henry VIII's wives. This can be done by carefully employing the scientific method that you learned for the science fair in sixth grade. After that you need to square your answer and find the hypotenuse and then employ the quadratic formula. Because this isn't just conjecture,

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Fairy tales are women's tales. This has been said before, in words cleverer and more articulate than my own, but still, it bears repeating: fairy tales are women's tales. They're bent-backed crones' tales, sly gossips' tales, work-worn mothers' tales and old wives' tales. They're stories shared, repeated and elaborated on over mindless women's work like spinning or mending or shucking corn. These stories are the voices of those who were, within a social and cultural…