Charlene Cheung's previous work for The Toast can be found here. This message and any attached documents contain information that may be confidential and/or privileged. If you are not the intended recipient, you may not read, copy, distribute, or use this information. If you have received this transmission in error, please notify the sender immediately by reply email and then delete this message. This message and any attached documents contain sentiments that the sender…

1. Walk into your small one bedroom apartment, and set down your bags. 2. Mistake that faint buzzing for an inevitable sign of aging. 3. Scream and duck for cover when you realize it’s actually a huge, killer wasp that’s now nose-diving towards your head. No. Now is not the time to gloat that your hearing hasn’t failed you yet. 4. Army-crawl out of the living room. 5. Watch the killer wasp flit around your…

You wake up a little later than normal. You’re not washing your hair today, after all. It’s one of the few days out of the year you don’t wash you hair. In fact, it’s the only day you’re actually not supposed to. You don’t bother to make your bed, either -- not that you make your bed on any other day because you’re pretty lazy. But, for the same reason you aren’t washing your hair,…

My ophthalmologist prescribed me glasses when I was in the third grade. For a kid who was already kind of a nerd, my new frames did nothing to help my reputation. But, I didn’t care. Or, if we’re being completely honest, I just wasn’t aware of what other people thought--obviously, since I chose to sport these large, round monstrosities. Glasses weren’t quite the fashion statement back then like they are now (and not like that…