F.J. Bergmann writes poetry and speculative fiction, often simultaneously, which can be found in The 5-2, Black Treacle, Lakeside Circus, Right Hand Pointing, Silver Blade, and elsewhere. Editor of Star*Line and poetry editor of Mobius: The Journal of Social Change; recent awards include the 2012 Rannu Prize for poetry and the 2013 SFPA Elgin chapbook award.
F.J. Bergmann's previous work for The Toast can be found here. Meet and Marry a Gorgeous Russian Queen—a spam subject lineTo win her, you must learn the languageof birds. You Google to find out just what kindsof birds migrate between here and Siberia.You will build her a crystal castle of…
Woolgathering from Playing Cards in Purgatory, oil on panel, Kelli Hoppmann, 2002 They all cheat, of course: on spouses, at games, or themselves. They color their hair even though their masks would cover it. They practice unnatural expressions, wear heavy gowns with hidden pockets, conceal deadly weapons. Not the least of which are their own bodies. But they are mere amateurs compared to you: their arrows fly disappointingly straight, and they never notice that your horns curve backward. You could easily have them naked in a few minutes…
