Kathryn Ionata's previous work for The Toast can be found here. During my first semester as an adjunct instructor of English at two universities, I had come to dread Wednesdays. In the morning, I taught composition to a class of sleepy-eyed freshmen whose staunch refusal to participate in class discussions rivaled their unwillingness to crack a smile. After an interminable fifty minutes, I retreated to the “bullpen,” as a colleague referred to the small,…
Once upon a time, there lived a woman and a man who hoped with all their hearts for a little baby to call their own. They sought the help of shamans, who drew their blood and mixed spells to create a child, but nothing could remedy their plight. One day, a blonde witch in disguise as a princess came to them, boasting a kind heart and
When I think of being a teenager, I think of Gidget. Even though I grew up in Pennsylvania and not California; even though I was in high school forty years after Gidget was; even though I’ve never been on a surfboard in my life, I associate the teenage surfing movie from 1959 with my own coming of age. Maybe it’s the fact that I am, like the character, so much shorter than average that it…
Seymour Glass, “A Perfect Day for Bananafish” Seymour is first to arrive, twenty minutes early. He carries a book of German poetry that he gives to the host as a gift. Upon discovering that the host does not speak German, Seymour suggests putting the silly party on hold so that the host can go learn German fluently enough to read the book in its entirety. He’ll wait. “Where is everyone?” he says. “Off getting…
