1. I know the Kitty Genovese story wasn't exactly as egregious as it's become in our popular imagination, but Lord love me, I'm a follower, and there are few things I love more than the diminished moral culpability that comes with being part of a big crowd.

Matthew 1:1

"An account of the genealogy of Jesus, King Shit of Fuck Mountain, the son of David, the son of Abraham."

Matthew 2:3-4

"When King Herod heard this, he was frightened, and all Jerusalem with him; and calling together all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the King Shit of Fuck Mountain was to be born."

Scandal: Mellie/Olivia Forever

Batman TAS: Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn

The Gilmore Girls: Rory and Paris

Alternate Gilmore Girls' Series Finales: The Many Imaginary Deaths of Christopher Hayden
I. The Motorcycle Crash
II. Eaten By Bear at Zoo
III. Slowly Crushed By His Collection of Sweet Lids

Dirtbag Hamlet

A GHOST appears.
GHOST: have you ever listened to Sublime
HAMLET: [makes j/o motion]

Oh, two monks, I think I'm going to miss you most of all.

Two Medieval Monks Invent Art

She was a monster. She rewrote everything. I loved her. It began with Texts from Dagny Taggart.

Where, I am pretty sure, it all began: Western Art History Is Just 600 Years Of Women Getting Out Of Bathtubs

How To Talk To Babies About Postmodernism:

BABY: [knocks plate off of table]
ME: that’s right
in postmodernism we reject the notion of ‘totality’

Movie Yelling With Jaya and Matt: Fear
Jaya: but also, and I know this is BOTHERSOME, but if a boy I liked just showed up in my room shirtless when I was 16 I would absolutely be DTF
Matt: glad that media is finally recognizing how horny ALL teens are

I was fourteen.

"The Queen of the Adriatic, is just one of the things you've been called."

I can never get enough stories about Mount Washington, the little mountain in New Hampshire that kills just everybody, and which I'll never visit unless it's to get dragged into the weather station and gleefully drink cocoa as the sky goes all to white hell around me. Here are some highlights for you armchair outdoorswomen, rated on a scale of 1 to 5 !!!!!s.

Genesis 42:21

"And they said one to another, 'Fuckin' A, we are guilty concerning our brother, in that we saw the anguish of his soul, when he besought us, and we would not hear; therefore is this distress come upon us.'"

Hiring Nikki as managing editor two years ago was easily the best professional decision Nicole and I have ever made. I STILL HAVEN'T MET HER, which is outrageous, but nobody's fault (surely it's somebody's fault), but everything she has ever written here has been absolute gold, and I want to make sure everyone gets a chance to re-read her back catalog and say nice things to her on Twitter.