By Marissa Maciel

Marissa Maciel is a writer and illustrator.

  1. Yes, we tried feeding her. The crying didn’t stop and we also forgot to make a sign that said “we already tried feeding her.” Thanks, though.

    He was wearing a sunhat, but we lost it on the motorcycle ride over here.

    I’ll cut his hair when I know he’s ready: after he’s bagged his first werewolf, like his grandfathers before him.

    157 comments
  2. Marissa Maciel's previous work for The Toast can be found here.

    The bride is a confirmed tea drinker; the groom worked as a barista at her local cafe. He knew she was interested when she ordered six shots of espresso.

    The bride is a children’s librarian; the groom restores and repairs books.

    The brides met while competing in Judo and Ultimate Fighting events. Their first dance will be to the

    30 comments
  3. Marissa Maciel's previous work for The Toast can be found here. Exhausted parents lying on the floor, surrounded by government-provided boxes of diapers and wipes. Tired women with their feet elevated staring into space, while human resource managers do not have any reason to call them to talk about maternity leave issues or concerns. Tired men holding up two brands of diapers, debating between chlorine-free versus extra-absorbency, making that decision themselves, feeling confident about…

    24 comments
  4. Marissa Maciel's previous work for The Toast can be found here. After I graduated from college, a newly minted, twenty year-old psychology major, I worked at a sleep disorder clinic. The job put me in bedrooms with strangers, people who couldn’t sleep and wanted answers, and I was there to help figure out what was going on. Mostly, these people were here because they snored. When some people snore, their breathing can also slow…

    11 comments
  5. Marissa Maciel's previous work for The Toast can be found here. One clue that you may be having emotional difficulties in your pregnancy is when you tell people “I’m pregnant,” and their first reaction is to say, “Oh, is that ok?” No matter how planned my second pregnancy had been (trying for months, taking prenatal vitamins in advance, storing hand-me-downs from our first child for years), whenever I told anyone I was pregnant, I…

    25 comments
  6. Marissa Maciel's previous work for The Toast can be found here. Backstory: Earlier this year, Nicole tweeted the following screenshot of a truly horrible, self-absorbed comment left on a poignant piece by a father who can't bring himself to tell the post office to stop sending him his dead son's mail: Which was so gross. Here, in response, are some drawings of "Helene in Paris."…

    31 comments
  7. Marissa Maciel's previous work for The Toast can be found here.

    Dear Miss Brown Shoes,

    Hello! You were so kind to stop by and greet us the other day, and our leadership committee felt that we should contact you formally to share our story with you.

    We have spent many years reaching out to people we believe will be sympathetic to our plea. As someone who frequents the Bonny Lake Park,

    51 comments
  8. Question: Should I sail around the world with my kids? 

    You had these children, clothed and fed them, got them to the doctor and the dentist and made sure their hands were washed before they ate - and now you want to take them into the wide, wide ocean? You want to offer their adorable faces, with their big cheeks and bright eyes, up to Poseidon and the winds and the weather! Did you

    38 comments
  9. The bride and groom met outside of a singles yoga class; they were both too embarrassed to go inside. The groom's father is the Head of Cardiology at Cedars Sinai; his mother is a professional clogger and performs with the senior dance troupe The Clogged Arteries. The groom is a semi-professional hockey player. The bride is a dental implant artist. The brides are both Olympic athletes. Helen set records in the shot put; Greta in…

    30 comments