So you’re a twenty-three year old guitar genius whose band is finally making a name for itself, not to mention some money after too many years of subsisting on Top Ramen, PBR, and a prayer. You’re ready to reap the rewards of being fresh and sexy, and harvest the nubile adoration that is yours by virtue of your face-melting musical prowess. The last thing you want to see when you gaze out in the audience…