When Nicole and Mallory approached me and invited me to contribute to The Toast, was absolutely thrilled. I recognized what an amazing opportunity it was, particularly as a woman of color, to be able to run an online publication where I had editorial freedom and the ability to pay writers. It has been all joy to run The Butter. I was able to publish truly amazing writing filled with wit and heart, humor and intelligence. I worked…

"Men like to act as if commanding women's attention is their birthright, their natural due, and they are rarely contradicted. It's a radical act to refuse them that attention. It's even more radical to propose that if they want it so fucking much, they can buy it." from “Where’s My Cut?”: On Unpaid Emotional Labor

I was flipping through the movie channels the other day when I came across In the Blood, starring Gina Carano. The plot is pretty basic. Carano and her husband, played by Cam Gigandet, are on their honeymoon in the Caribbean. At first, it’s all lovely–Gigandet is wealthy and his family has a nice home on the island where the newlyweds frolic and fuck. They meet a local and go dancing. They have more sex. And then, the husband disappears during

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I want to tell you I loved Bill Cosby for a long time. I loved him because as a kid, I watched The Cosby Show and I saw a family that was similar to mine--middle class, loving, imperfect. When I watched A Different World I saw what college might look like for a girl like me. Bill Cosby was the warm, funny man who wore ugly sweaters. He was the Jello Pudding Pop man. He…

14. Cookie, R. Kelly (because he is a criminal)

13. Freek’n You, Jodeci

12. I Want It That Way, Backstreet Boys

11. Ain’t There Something Money Can’t Buy, Nick Waterhouse

10. Heaven, Matt Bomer

9. Marry You, Donald Glover

8. Give it to the People, The Child of Lov

7. Untitled, Matt Bomer

6. Sex You, Bando Jonez

5. Gooey, Glass Animals

4. All the Time, Jeremih, Lil Wayne, Natasha Mosley

3. Pony, Ginuwine

2.

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Treat your partner like they are the center of the universe while also being independent and having interests of your own.

Self-confidence is sexy.

Maybe distance does make the heart grow fonder.

Give your partner nothing but the best of yourself, what you make for them and what you give to them.

There’s nothing wrong with a good cocktail or glass of wine with your lover.

Boost your partner’s confidence.

Gaze lovingly at your partner even

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This is a movie recap so it will be entirely composed of spoilers. If you're thinking there's a plot twist in Magic Mike XXL you don't want to know about until you behold this movie's glory on the silver screen, read no further. Let's get one thing out of the way--Magic Mike Vol. 1 was not a good movie. I loved it but it was terrible--no plot, terrible acting, and it was pretty dark and…

1. This person, place or thing is garbage.

2. This person, place or thing is trash.

3. This person, place or thing is on fleek.

4. This person, place, or thing is fire.

5. Accurate, as a brief response to an observation someone makes that is, indeed, accurate.

6. Legit to convey the sincerity of a feeling. Ex: I am legit in love with Channing Tatum.

7. Low key to convey mild but sincere interest

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Denial: This isn't possible. Doesn't the network know who is watching this show? Don't they understand genius? This is not possible. We have to save our show. Let's start a campaign, hashtag save my show that I and tens of other people watch. Anger: Television is trash. Bargaining: Maybe Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon will resurrect the show. Depression: I will never watch television again. Thank God for books.

Beginning in July, The Butter will begin featuring an advice column written by know-it-all busybody S. Bear Bergman. Bear’s credentials include long experience as a stage manager, camp counselor, trip leader and bartender, so his opportunity to witness (and learn from) the mistakes of others has been far greater than average. Now, he’s attempting to spin his twin habits of eavesdropping and giving unsolicited advice into a marketable skill. In other news, he’s also

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Candy Crush Saga tries to break you down psychologically.

When you fail to complete a level and you fail spectacularly, you are shown your failure and invited to persevere or quit. No one likes a quitter.

When you fail to complete a level and you’re kind of close to the promised land, the game tries to manipulate you into continuing with the sweet seduction of telling you that you only

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In the hours and days after it’s release, I heard breathless accounts of Mad Max: Fury Road as the second coming of action films and better yet, folks said, this was a feminist movie! Given the overall disdain if not blatant disrespect and degradation most movies express for women, I took this as mighty high praise.

Having now seen the movie, some of the hype was well deserved. I had a blast. Mad Max: Fury

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Maria Bello has a new memoir out discussing love and labels. This piece over at Brain Pickings compelled me to buy the book though I have not yet read it.

Plastic surgery and the drug trade?

In the late 2000s, right about when the economic bubble burst in the United States, Colombia’s government finally began making headway against the narco-crime that had plagued it for decades. Homicide rates dropped, drug production

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Praise the Lord.

The officers who murdered Freddie Gray have been charged with serious offenses. Is this the beginning of justice? We shall see. What I know for sure is that it is heartbreaking that a young man is dead, and that we are all so surprised that these officers have been charged and that skepticism that they will be convicted is probably for the best.