By Samantha Irby

Samantha Irby writes a blog called bitches gotta eat.

  1. Previously in this series: If Daniel Radcliffe were your boyfriend.

    If Forest Whitaker were your boyfriend he would order your latte using the dumb Starbucks lingo even though you know he would much rather have gone to the tiny independent coffee shop ten minutes out of the way rather than embarrassing you by arguing with the barista over the word “medium.”

    If Forest Whitaker were your boyfriend he would let

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