Previously in Tommy Wallach's series of harsh criticisms of the genuine work of small children doing their best: Becky.

Alexander Hamilton: The Outsider

Reviewed by Griffin C. 

I thought that Alexander Hamilton: The Outsider was amazing. I love history and anything about it, especially wars and reading about different people. Alexander Hamilton was a man of power. He was born in the Caribbean and because his parents weren’t married

…

Me: (types Hangover Part 3 into Netflix search bar)

Flickering. Loading Screen. More Flickering. Black.

Me: What the hell? (smacks computer)

Genderless Voice: I’m sorry, Tommy, I can’t let you do that.

Me: Who is this?

Genderless Voice: This is Netflix. 

Me: Oh. Hello, Netflix. Could you put on my movie?

Genderless Voice: The Hangover Part III is not

…

The following story was written by an actual eight year old named Becky, who is now an adult (and whose debut novel comes out next year).

Tootsiroll

One day a dog had 7 puppies. Candy, Bubbles, Spot, Flower, Brownie, Bambi, and Tootsiroll. Tootsiroll was the runt. All the puppies had spots. There were 6 nipples on their mother, Apple. One day Flower went up to Bubbles. They talked and had fun. Soon…