Advice

  1. Are you still here? Get out of here! Go on! Get!

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  2. Dear readers,

    I know that today is the final day of The Toast, and I wanted to take a moment to reflect on what this space -- and spaces like it -- mean for women.

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  3. Okay, folks, clearly I’m doing something a little different with this, my final column in this amazing space we all love so much. How could I let it be Businesslady as Usual during such a strange and transitional period?

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  4. Thank you so much to everyone who commented and emailed and entrusted me with your secrets over the duration of my time as Aunt Acid. I had many more good questions than I could answer, especially for this last column. I will miss you.

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  5. Aries: It isn’t easy to be gentle when the world requires so much toughness from you, so much heavy armor, so many hard glinting surfaces and finely-tuned defenses. Still, it’s worth trying. The world is a strange hard place, but this won’t stop you. You deserve warm afternoons with the windows open. You deserve a house full of light.

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  6. Your job isn’t to fix your friend. It’s to empathize. To remind her that help is available, and that your help is also available.

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  7. BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO CONCEDE THAT ANY FIGHT MIGHT BE ABOUT A SPECIFIC SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES AND REPEATEDLY INSIST IT'S ABOUT "THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING," BUT IF EVERYTHING IS A PRINCIPLE THEN NOTHING IS

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  8. I've finally gotten a job that fits my background pretty well, is stable, and pays decently. I've been working toward getting a job in this field for a few years, but now that I've finally got it, I'm afraid it doesn't fit me. I feel like someone more extroverted would be better suited to the job. Also, I'm finding it quite directionless and unstructured. Worst of all, I'm bored out of my mind.

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  9. All Kickstarter scandals fascinate and compel me, and I will never tire of reading about them, which is not to say I'm reading this in the sense of "haha, look at the suffering and mismanagement of others," so much as, OH LIFE IS LONG AND EVERYTHING HAPPENS

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  10. "'Impossibly Rare' Violet Diamond Found," Given To Mysterious Veiled Woman

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  11. The One Who Is Mostly A High-Protein Breakfast
    We've all been there. They seem perfectly normal, and then you move in together, and realize that 80% or more of the time, they're overnight oats drizzled with almond butter, or cottage cheese-and-egg-white pancakes. Typical.

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  12. Think of a long quiet river; think of the cold salty sea. Think of all the places your thoughts can carry you, when your days feel like too much.

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  13. Dear Aunt Acid,

    Am I asking too much? Is there a way for me to realign what I want out of a career, even if that means being okay with picking up other people's lunch every day until I die? At what point should I admit that I am not a strong enough writer to make it a career? Or do I just need a thicker skin?

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  14. "Thank you for your time and for your goodwill."

    "I am happy to either confirm or deny your question."

    "Sincerely, [your full name here]."

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  15. Black students will be expected to primarily form friendships with other Black students (and those Latin@s who can’t or choose not to pass as white) through the challenges of Shared Minority Struggles. You might also try sitting at the Korean Table in the dining hall.

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