Art

  1. Ver-r-r-y Byron. You might be tempted to think, "Not very Byron," because there are other people in the picture, and his alabaster brow isn't the focal point.

    134 comments
  2. The Long Way Home
    Isabelle and Ruth find more than just a shortcut through the woods on a walk home from school.

    73 comments
  3. This Classic Toast post originally ran on Mar 11, 2014.

    From the year 800 AD to 1450 the entirety of Europe's approach to painting was "It's impossible to know what an animal looks like, just draw a guy's head on it." This is their story.

    112 comments
  4. A play is a movie that can spit on you.

    A play is a screaming book.

    A play lowers night cholesterol and decreases your risk of standing.

    144 comments
  5. Previously: two monks invent medieval art. MONK #1: hey how big are most eyes MONK #2: like on the human face? MONK #1: oh yes for sure the eyes people have on their faces MONK #2: oh man at least half the size of the face it's actually crazy how much of your face is just eyes definitely at least half MONK #1: thanks MONK #2: no problem…

    90 comments
  6. This Classic Toast post originally ran on September 10, 2013.

    33 comments
  7. MONK #1: what makes a woman beautiful
    MONK #2: nice eyes
    long hair
    red lips
    MONK #1: right definitely
    MONK #2: you know what's really hot though
    MONK #1: what
    MONK #2: women who don't have shoulders
    MONK #1: what

    128 comments
  8. MONK #1: what does Hell look like?
    MONK #2: big upside-down beehive

    88 comments
  9. "A man who punched a hole through a painting worth nearly £8 million painting has been jailed."

    96 comments
  10. no, we mustn't kiss again
    Charles kissed someone and look what happened to him

    Charles died of fever
    well
    just to be safe
    we should never kiss again

    77 comments
  11. i don't know what you mean, Charles that is the door well it looks a hell of a lot like a window to me darling i'm so sorry but if that won't open i'm afraid there's no other way to get inside i came an awfully long way to see you ahh i know it's so terrible but nothing i can do about how windows are made…

    96 comments
  12. In case you're not familiar with the parable of the Prodigal Son, I'll give you the bare outline: A man has two sons, one of whom goes to his father, demands his inheritance, sails off and squanders every penny getting drunk with idiots.

    227 comments
  13. Orpheus is one of those great Greek figures who stuck around long enough to get every single myth eventually attributed to him. He invented music, sort of, but he also become a figure of mourning after failing to rescue his wife Eurydice from the Underworld (on account of looking back at her before she was 100% rescued), but he's also credited with introducing pederasty to Thrace (!!!)

    100 comments
  14. MONK #1: if I wanted to illustrate the rain of fire that destroyed Sodom
    what should I use for my model
    visually I mean
    MONK #2: can can dancers
    red legs, blue skirts
    MONK #1: oh thanks

    64 comments