Before we parted ways at the airport, my mother handed me an envelope. From its size I knew that it held a greeting card, but its thickness revealed that there was something hidden in between those cardboard words of farewell. She told me to open it. Inside there was money, which I half expected. I knew that she wouldn’t be able to help herself even though I told her that there would be no need…
7. "Brittney Griner is 23 years old, 6 feet 8 inches tall and one of the best female basketball players in the world. She was the WNBA top draft pick last year, and in college she set records for the most blocked shots in a season and the most career blocks in history — for male and female players. She's so good that the owner of a men's team — the Dallas Mavericks — has said he'd…
So I am getting married in May (to some jerk, you have not heard of her) and I need to buy a shirt. I have some shirts, yes, but they are not wedding shirts. I need to debut a shirt at my wedding. And I like to look nice, dang it, so something a teeny bit fashion forward sounds like the way to go! Unfortunately every retailer of shirt has not gotten the message because…
Mary J. Breen's previous work for The Toast can be found here. Most recently: Career Counseling in the 1950s. The lovely hand-made crepe dress in this painting belonged to my mother. It came from the time she always spoke of as Before I Was Married. There was Before I Was Married and After I Was Married. Not that one was better than the other; they were just very different times, worlds apart. My…
If the scrambly porn from my adolescence was any indication (remember that? Scrambly, pre-internet porn?) the sexy schoolgirl is a pretty popular trope. Having been a Catholic schoolgirl for 5 years, though, I’ve never really understood the fantasy. That might be because high school was not exactly the most sensual time for me. My 7th grade sex ed teacher was an old Irish woman who reeked of B.O. The Miracle of Life, a 1983
Holli Mintzer's Adventures in Vintage Window Shopping column last addressed the vital issue of the princess coat.
We don’t really think that often about feet. I mean, I don’t. Maybe you do, I’m not judging. But feet are not a thing I think about particularly, and more than that the size of people’s feet is something I very rarely dwell on.
But it does come up occasionally, for me, because vintage shoes are so goddamn
Past installments of "Fat, Frugal, and Stylish" can be found here. It's cold, y'all. It is so cold that I am too cold to make hyperbolic jokes about how cold it is as an easy way to open a column. It is, certainly, too cold for fashion. There is no way to look sexy in this kind of weather. Ideally we would just all be walking around wrapped in every blanket we own, with…
Holli Michele last wrote for The Toast about running a vintage shop without losing your mind. So, I have a deep and abiding love of midcentury fashion: one that does not extend to wanting to live Back Then. Given a time machine, I'd zip out to 1953 for exactly long enough to go shopping, and then high-tail it back to the era of reliable internet access and slightly less oppressive gender roles. And of…
English teachers get all the glory. Ask a representative sample of people what teacher they remember the most fondly from their school days, who encouraged them to pursue a particular dream or a career, and I'm willing to bet a disproportionate amount name an old English teacher. And it is true that the majority of them are wonderful! (My seventh-grade literature teacher was a Buffetthead who read The Hobbit aloud to us and told us stories…
One of my best friends and I both have mind-numbing desk jobs. In order to survive said desk jobs, we spend most of our days Facebook chatting with each other. We use all-caps far more than is probably necessary. Our conversations very often veer into highly bizarre territory. Sometimes it's fiction, sometimes it's commentary, and it's always weird. Lately, it's focused mostly on Snoop Dogg's semi-recent decision to rename himself Snoop Lion. Teagan He's motherfucking Snoop and…
YOU SEARCHED FOR: Girl’s Clothing. Top result: Toddler’s Knit Halter Top, Vintage 1975. Item description: Pink popcorn wool knit, tiny red floral appliqués here and there; lace trim. Modeled on vintage teddy bear. Halter is made in Taiwan. No size specified, but will fit most girls aged 1-2. Item worn maybe four times, appropriated for teddy bear seven years later. Snaps at neck. Small grass stain at lace hem. Price: $20. THIS SELLER’S OTHER ITEMS:…
Previous installments of our WORN Fashion Journal series can be found here. Most recently: Anna's Parents Review Paris Fashion Week.
INT. TORONTO’S EYESORE CINEMA ON QUEEN WEST - NIGHT
A tall brunette (ANNA) and her significantly less tall blonde friend (HALEY) are in deep concentration, furiously browsing through the horror movie section. ANNA is already in her pajamas, eagerly anticipating the shenanigans of the night that will follow.
Skeletons in your local pharmacy. Bad horror remakes on TV. “This Is My Costume” t-shirts at Hot Topic. Let’s face it: the only thing scary about Halloween these days is how commercial it’s gotten. When will goths rise up and take back our holiday? These days, a plague of indifference has consumed the goth community when it comes to Halloween. Even when I was a wee kindergoth, we had respect for the true meaning of…
Lindsay-King Miller most recently told us How Not to Walk Around Naked. Hello and welcome, Toasties! I am a fashionable fat girl on a budget, and as such, my love/hate relationship with clothing is more fraught and all-consuming than any other contentious relationship in my life, including that one time I had a crush on my roommate. The things I love don't come in my size; the things that come in my size I can't…
