Food

  1. First, you should know that creating these recipes involved a totally normal number of open tabs related to cheesecake (roughly 10).

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  2. Great Expectations is a book about a boy who is never allowed to finish a meal in peace, and a woman who stays in wedding-dress shape for her entire life. It's pretty good. Here are all of the upsetting meals that are served in it.

    Forgotten Beer

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  3. Spencer Hastings, wherever you are, at the mercy of the show’s writers and your own incredibly high standards: this cheesecake is for you.

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  4. Because all of his shows are on public-access television, and so you can watch them for free on YouTube, and he embodies the deep and profound safety of being middle class, real middle class, the kind of middle-class where your father had a good job and a house and his father had a good job and a house and so on and so on, an unbroken chain of good men with real jobs...

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  5. In February 1943, when wartime rationing was at its height and many foreign luxuries were unobtainable in Britain, Marjorie Barber sent her friend, novelist Dorothy L. Sayers, a lemon in a jeweler's box.

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  6. 1. "I've never made a meal at home with sugar snap peas before."

    2. "I could be the kind of person who owned and prepared sugar snap peas."

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  7. I will be honest: the first time I tried making babka, I fucked up so badly I felt like I’d brought shame on several generations of my family. A year later I was finally ready to try again. My family, tired of schlepping to the Lower East Side for babka, was delighted.

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  8. Welcome back to Crush Cakes. When you sit around breathlessly swooning over your crushes nonstop like me, well…we are worldly people here, you know what happens next. I make cakes expressing my feelings for them, and then sit back and wait for my destiny to be fulfilled. It all makes perfect sense.

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  9. We Have Always Lived In The Castle is a book about what would happen if everyone wanted to murder everyone else all of the time. All of the meals eaten therein are either poisoned or should have been. Here all of those meals are, in order of their sinister undertones.

    Almost Coffee

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  10. Jane Eyre is a book about a woman who hates feeling comfortable. Every meal that passes her lips is full of gravel and self-sufficiency. Sometimes she drinks tea, but more often than not she turns it down suspiciously, for what if within the tea someone had secretly placed the bonds of servitude?? Here is every meal she begrudgingly eats before running away into the hills.

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  11. Wuthering Heights is the story of a group of people who eat the most miserable meals imaginable, and cannot experience love as a result. Sometimes they have tea, but more often they are merely offered it, and decide they are too furious to have tea, and die instead. Here is every meal the characters of Wuthering Heights almost eat before being interrupted by sex-rage and dying.

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  12. There is a deep part of me that loves Sandra Lee. I love her horrifying bunny cakes.

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  13. When I told my dad I was going to make knishes he said “only G-d can make a knish,” which I strongly suspected wasn’t true, but now know for sure.

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  14. This recipe was passed down to me from my mom and the back of a Hershey’s bag of mini chips.

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  15. Let us gently drift back to the year 2004. I was 18, I got my first pair of Chuck Taylors (bright red, low tops); I was obsessed with Pink Floyd; and a TV show called The OC was the hottest ticket on a Friday night in the dorm of the Anglican girls’ boarding school that I lived in.

    34 comments