When I was toddler, all blond ringlets and big brown eyes, I was eating dinner while sitting at my high chair in the kitchen, when my dad told me to finish something – probably a vegetable. The story goes, instead of listening to him, I looked him dead in the eye, raised my fist – which was about 1.5 inches wide – and stuck out my jaw. I was ready to fight this giant man, apparently,…
Nicole's first birth story can be found here. You should also read Meaghan O'Connell's, it's a triumph of the genre. The last few weeks of pregnancy are pretty bad. Even when you've already had a baby, it's hard to remember that they're easier to look after while they're still inside your body, because you have to pee constantly and your back hurts and your feet hurts and you can't shave anything you…
The following wild flurry of rhetoric is not meant to subtweet anyone's else's pieces about The Jinx, as I object far too strongly to any criticism of said show to read it.
"After all, Watson," said Holmes, reaching up his hand for his clay pipe, "I am not retained by the police to supply their deficiencies." - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
What exactly do you ingrates want? Is it not enough for The Jinx to…
This is Nichole Perkins' first essay for The Toast. Her previous work for The Butter can be found here. My ringtone is the theme from the Lynda Carter-led Wonder Woman series. The journal I use for ideas and outlines features a comic version of the heroine looking prettily from the corners of her eyes. I have several sets of Wonder Woman underwear that I put on when I want good luck or good…
A friend came over with a folk album and said, “You’ll like Judee Sill. Real badass. I think she was a bank robber or something.”
And sure, with an introduction like that it was pretty hard not to at least be intrigued by the country-voiced woman singing earnestly about Jesus and the Astral Plane. In fact, it’s basically impossible to talk about Judee Sill’s music without some mention of her twisted,
Fiction is full of spinsters, each one greater and more terrible than the last. Here are some of the more common species seen in the wild. Ready To Defrost (Harmless/Temporary) There is nothing wrong with these women. More to be pitied than censured; they simply were not born for the Cause. They are more likely to be librarians than anything else. Their glasses exist only to be whipped off. Their hair is up only to be…
Why is there not yet such a thing as a lesbian icon? I'm not just talking about lesbians who have become famous — spare me your Melissa Etheridges, your Tracy Chapmans. Nor do I consider any of the zillion indie female vocalists who are beloved within the lesbian community to be candidates for iconic status—we all went through our Ani DiFranco phases, and the less said on that score the better. No, I'm talking about…
I thought it was hilarious at first when Mallory declared in a comment thread that it was her fitness goal to be able to pick up and lift a grown man over her head. Afterwards, I started noticing that other Toasties were declaring this in a tongue-in-cheek way, and I started thinking, “well, why not?” The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it wasn’t any more ridiculous or unlikely than any…
This was supposed to be so simple. Get in, develop complicated feelings for the girl, establish a relationship after a dizzying number of back-and-forths designed to produce the maximum amount of sexual and dynamic tension, then never get out. I was only supposed to fall in love. Wanting to protect her -- that was never part of the deal. I was just supposed to discover I had feelings for her. I never expected that I'd find…
Previously: Ayn Rand's The Devil Wears Prada and Rupert Giles, MLS. BUFFY: My shoulders are naked and I am drenched in the blood of my enemies. You are my physical and mental equal. I wish to express my respect for you in the physical embodiment of my ideals: the act of love. Let us have sex now. ANGEL: Buffy, I can't. You know that if I were to experience even a moment of…
For no real reason, and in no particular order, here are some people doing worthwhile and interesting things in [waves arms expansively] the media. They all have something in common. I can't quite put my finger on it. Shani Hilton, Buzzfeed Shani Hilton is a big fucking deal and you should pay attention to everything she does. She's the Deputy Editor-in-Chief at Buzzfeed and when she's not being ignored by stupid Top 40 Lists,…
If you are a particular type of person living in a city, you almost certainly have at least two or three friends who have recently shared the ongoing saga of the Maine Hermit, who was arrested last year and was recently featured in a rather gushing (five-page!) GQ profile. Please do not be impressed by his story; there is no need. There are other heroes more worthy of your distant adulation. No one who lives…
I don't know anyone who doesn't love Phil Hartman, and frankly I don't care to. He finally got his star on the Walk of Fame this week (Nealon and Lovitz were there, bless their graying, aging hearts), and Grantland just published a wonderful analysis of his comedic legacy. You have to read every word of it, right now.
