Television

  1. wait, are you Scottish? I thought you were from Birmingham this is unrelated but do you consider Coventry "the north" Do they not have cell phones in Scotland? Wait, did he just say "did you hear the truth squeaking?" Is everyone okay Why are they complaining about creaks in this beautiful mansion, that seems churlish Why can't they all agree on having one to three accents, I count six people and 900 accents in this one scene…

  2. I've lost the certainty I once had -- the Biblical, childlike faith -- and exchanged it for a quiet plea that echoes Fox Mulder: "I want to believe."

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  3. When I found out at the age of 22 that I was not somehow failing at being liked by others, but that a series of horribly well-meant mistakes by my parents, teachers and pediatricians had kept me from the autism diagnosis I should have had when I was eight, the only thing that cheered me up for months was hunting for serial killers in Copenhagen and Malmö.

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  4. Spencer Hastings, wherever you are, at the mercy of the show’s writers and your own incredibly high standards: this cheesecake is for you.

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  5. GENIUS: Ghostwriter manipulates letters of text in books, newspapers, what have you, to form clues that help the youths solve mysteries. His abilities transcend anagrammar. Most likely because he is a ghost.

    SUIT #3: What does he look like?

    GENIUS: Kind of like a feed icon.

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  6. "The Queen of the Adriatic, is just one of the things you've been called."

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  7. In November 2013, a few months into our friendship, I sent Mallory an email about a piece I hoped to write for her recently launched website, The Toast.

    I'm not ready yet to write it – I have to finish watching it first. but I want to write about the importance of the show and how it's been overshadowed by subsequent shows.

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  8. I'm just making these up as I go, now!

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  9. I'm rewatching the first two seasons again and I've never been more jam-packed with feelings! 2002!

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  10. Sad Kit Harington looks like a black cocker spaniel who needs to pee, but it’s raining outside and he doesn’t want to get his little paws wet.

    Sad Kit Harington looks like a guy who’d make you a mix tape, and then watch as you listen to it and get quietly upset when you didn’t find a deeper meaning in all the song lyrics he chose specifically for you.

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  11. EXEC #1: Tails?

    THE ANIMATOR: Yep.

    EXEC #1: Clothes?

    THE ANIMATOR: About half.

    [diligent note-taking]

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  12. In which someone's contract is not renewed, but instead of it being terrible we are all better for it.

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  13. The theme song is just Madeline jauntily and wordlessly wailing, which, fair enough!

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  14. If I had no other obligations — and if I hadn’t wrecked my wrists a few years back — I would knit all the time; literally fall asleep knitting at night and pick it up as soon as I woke in the morning. (In this scenario I would also have maidens to feed me so I would not have to take any breaks to eat.) But because I don’t live in a fantasy, I mostly knit while

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