It's snowing at my house!

Let's not talk about the Twitter heart situation.

Hello there! It's me again, critical darling and flawless director Paul Verhoeven. Every movie I make is perfect, yes, thank you for noticing! I was at my weekly canasta game with Luc Besson and John Woo, and we were all relating to each other the sort of things we like to yell at our actors while the camera rolls.

Truffle Babybel.
Potato chip-crusted manchego.
A full block of whatever they use for Cheetos.

Option One: The FPS Remember that you are a “gamer girl.” Act accordingly. Choose a handle with the right sound. You may use the feminine “a” but nothing too aggressive or sexy. You want them to imagine you in sweatpants, not leather pants. Try to be one of the guys. Try to be guy-adjacent. Draw just enough attention to have personality, but never too much. Brand yourself. Not that it matters -- they know you’re…

“Ask your dentist if Conscious Sedation is right for you!” it proclaimed joyfully, “During the procedure, you won’t be aware of time passing!”

Brands are not our friends.

Politicians are not our friends.

Our parents are not our friends.

Our friend’s parents are not our friends, no matter how many times they invite you over even after your friend moved out.

Bosses are not our friends.

Coworkers are not our friends.

Mary in HR is not our friend.

Mary didn’t invite us to her clothing swap because she is not our friend.

That girl from

…

congradulations

etiqette

embbarrass

Geo Tracker – I didn't have a driver's license yet, just a ticket for underage drinking Buick Century – Bench seats in the front and the back Honda Accord – His mom and dad were home Volkswagen Beetle – Technically, we just got high in the airport parking lot Dodge Turbo convertible – "Exile in Guyville" was stuck in the tape deck Dodge Tradesman – Fuck yeah, you can reach the mini-fridge and the ashtray…

You'd better take off that party hat, son. You won't need it where we're going.

Ingredients:

1 neglected inner city ice rink

1 collective willing to administer the league for no pay

72 hockey players (see below)

When The Outer Limits debuted on ABC in 1963, one of the most iconic and troubling opening sequences ever to hit television appeared on our screens for the very first times. “There is nothing wrong with your television set,” it told us.

May we all find ways to be as happy as this guy.

Thank you, all, for being so supportive of The Butter's first week. It has been a total blast and I can't wait to see what this place becomes. I especially want to thank my colleagues Nicole Cliffe, Mallory Ortbeg, Nick Pavich, Nicole Chung, and Maria Seiferle-Valencia. They made this week possible in so many ways. I also want to thank the intelligent, lovely writers who trusted their work to a new publication--Rion Amilcar Scott, Stacey May Fowles, Syed…

1. You LOVE The Toast and want to keep it going.

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