1. This came out in the same week as "Too Many Cooks." We are living in an age of signs and signals. And it shall come to pass in the last days, says the Lord, I will pour out of my Spirit upon all flesh: and your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, and your young men shall see visions, and your old men shall dream dreams.

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  2. Pulled Pork on Abortion Rye-ts:

    A pig raised lovingly in the care of two lesbians, fed a proper diet and allowed to roam the backyard to their cottage in Sunset. This pig was put down under the full moon, in view of the goddess and has been marinated and prepared for your pleasure. Served on artisanal, gluten free, vegan, rye bread with pages from Judith Butler’s books as napkins.

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  3. This was supposed to be so simple. Get in, develop complicated feelings for the girl, establish a relationship after a dizzying number of back-and-forths designed to produce the maximum amount of sexual and dynamic tension, then never get out. I was only supposed to fall in love. Wanting to protect her -- that was never part of the deal. I was just supposed to discover I had feelings for her. I never expected that I'd find…

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  4. Today is the last day before the paywall goes up at The New Yorker, which I read and adore, so I encourage you to subscribe, but either way, you must immediately read this brilliant thing by Paige Williams on Alabama's use of a judicial override to sentence an eighteen-year-old to death OVER THE WISHES OF THE JURY: Most states with the death penalty require a unanimous vote of twelve in order to impose capital…

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  5. Years ago, two friends sat across from me at their gleaming kitchen table and asked if I thought they should adopt a child. It might seem like a strange question to ask a fresh college graduate still years away from becoming a parent herself. But this couple happened to be weighing transracial adoption, and I was the only adopted person and one of very few people of color they knew. We had recently been introduced by…

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  6. And, by extension, Western literature. These are the only good poems that I know of. If you know of any better ones, kindly keep them to yourself.

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  7. All-American Girl at 20:

    All-American Girl publicized itself as based on Margaret Cho’s stand-up comedy, but that was mostly just a gloss. Cho was the youngest representative of a wave of female comediennes turned network stars in that era, including Brett Butler, Ellen DeGeneres, and Roseanne Barr. But unlike that trio, she was the only woman of color, and the only one who had no creative control. She didn’t

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  8. Sometimes, none of us feel like romping.

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  9. You may have already read this over the weekend. Read it again! Perhaps print out several copies of it and staple it to the inside of the jacket of the men in your life. Laminate it on your heart, whatever. Anti-abortion measures pose a risk to all pregnant women, including those who want to be pregnant. Such laws are increasingly being used as the basis for arresting women who have no intention of ending…

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  10. Elaine Atwell last wrote for The Toast about your dead literary mom. You are a good person. You are exactly the sort of person you would want to wait on if you were waiting tables. You consider yourself a lovable scamp when joking with your waitress*, a model of appropriate mealtime behavior to your fellow diners, and a tipper in the best tradition of rosy-cheeked liberality. So it may come as a shock to…

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  11. "Let's Talk About A Holiday That's Not Christmas Or About A Minor Polish Civic Hero"

    "Colorado, Now That's An Interesting State"

    "A Guitar, A Bass, And A Drum, That's All The Instruments I Need On This Song"

    "The Gender Of The Person I'm Singing About Isn't Ambiguous At All"

    "No Biblical References Here"

    "Let's Have A Party, Not A Crisis Of Faith"

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  12. Say you’re this straight guy. You’re an artsy, liberal-minded type, employed in some capacity by the music industry. You live in Brooklyn. You have a beard. You get laid with relative regularity. You think you are very, very cool. On a summer Sunday night, you’re on a rooftop bar in Williamsburg, and you’re three gin and tonics deep. You’ve met up with a friend of yours from work and some of her friends. You are…

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  13. Sorry I murdered everyone at your party, but as an introvert, I prefer one-on-one interactions to group gatherings.

    I'm really sorry that everyone is dead. I prefer animals to people.

    Sorry I killed everybody! I just really need my alone time.

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  14. Why "personhood" is a fuckin' CROCK and how it can be used to arrest and harass women far outside the realm of conversations about abortion:

    The principle at the heart of contemporary efforts to end legal abortion is that fertilized eggs, embryos and fetuses are persons or at least have separate rights that must be protected by the state. In each of the cases we identified, this same rationale

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