She Said, She Said

Mallory and Nicole dispense advice. You get exactly what you ask for, with these two – Mallory’s just going to tell you to set everyone on fire and live in the woods with bears, or something.

  1. Previous installments of The Toast’s advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons can be found here. Last time: Advice on Yappy Coworkers and Being Poorer Than You Want. I'm currently in the middle of a complicated, messed-up situation in which everyone has hurt at least one other person very badly. As a result, there's been a lot of talk of "rebuilding trust." But what…

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  2. Previous installments of The Toast’s advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons can be found here. Last time: Advice on Crisis Pregnancy Centers and Abusive Family Members. I was wondering what the polite response is in a work environment for "I like you, work-friend, but please do not come into my office and sit down to chat about your diet / our crazy clients at this particular juncture because…

    290 comments
  3. Previous installments of The Toast’s advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons can be found here. Last time: Advice on Relationship Inertia and Past Badness. In a post-Christmas cleanup effort, I've been trying to rid myself of excess baby stuff, including a huge box of diapers my daughter growth-spurted right past, and a bunch of formula that my OB-GYN pushed on me. I kept it in case breastfeeding didn't work out, but it…

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  4. Previous installments of The Toast’s advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons can be found here. Last time: Advice About Dating Ladies and Having a Bad Sister. How do you know when it's time to break up with someone? I've never had to so I don't know. Like if you've been with someone for 6 years, and you're in your 30s and you live with them and you don't hate them but you don't…

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  5. Previous installments of The Toast’s advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons can be found here. Last time: Dating Disclosures. My sister is a blonde, blue-eyed white girl and just went away to college earlier this fall. I just found out that she wants to transfer to go to a "less urban" college.  She's actually my half-sister, via my father and stepmother, but we typically don't make this distinction in my family. Due…

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  6. Previous installments of The Toast’s advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons can be found here. Last time: Cultural Appropriation. I have recently started seeing a Gentleman Caller. Things have not progressed too far, but they have progressed rather more quickly than I expected. This concerns me because I come with a decent amount of baggage. Like, sexual-trauma-related-mental-health-issues baggage that I am actively working on, but nevertheless seems like would be relevant…

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  7. Previous installments of The Toast’s advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons can be found here. Last time: Death. I am marrying my absolute favorite person in the world next year. It's wonderful, glorious, I'm brimming with happiness, blah blah blah wedding planning is hard, blah blah blah, but there is a specific point of etiquette I'd like to ask about, and I don't have any real-life people to ask who won't…

    179 comments
  8. Previous installments of The Toast’s advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons can be found here. Last time: Nails and Aisle-Walking. Hi! I have a bit of a time-sensitive question, but no pressure! It's also probably easy, if that helps? My next-door neighbor's husband died two days ago, in a horrific and sudden way. I've only been their neighbor for about 10 months, we are just hi-bye friends, though we've had a…

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  9. Previous installments of The Toast’s newly-renamed (thanks, Adrienne!) advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons can be found here. Last time: Job Dilemmas. Okay, so I know we're all disgusting meat bags, and that's cool, but I am hoping for some advice on being slightly less disgusting. In the past few years, since I graduated college, I've developed the gross habit of basically gnawing on my cuticles/the whole area around my nails.

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  10. Previous installments of The Toast’s newly-renamed (thanks, Adrienne!) advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons can be found here. Last time: Flirting, Deodorant, and Presents for Boys. This is a typical Ph.D angst question! I've always known I'd get a graduate degree and classics was all I ever wanted to do, and now I'm here and I'm ok at it, but am also miserable and have anxiety and hate everyone and there…

    55 comments
  11. What is the best way to call out someone who has been flirting shamelessly and you think is really into you, but who has a girlfriend, but you think if they left their girlfriend, you would totally date this person, but only if, so you need the call-out to be kind of flirty but not homewrecky. Asking for a friend. Nicole: AHHHHHHHHHHH. IS YOUR FRIEND ROBYN? If so, she can't help it and neither can…

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  12. Previous installments of The Toast’s advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons can be found here. (We are STILL open to better names for it.) I have a friend who, in the last few years, has become a very negative person. Or maybe she was always like that, but it seems to be highlighted more now. I understand she's not all that happy with her life situation--she's single and doesn't want to be,…

    83 comments
  13. Welcome to The Toast's inaugural advice column from two disparate and imperfect persons. We are open to better names for it. Sometimes Mallory will take one, or Nicole will take one, or we'll both give it a shot. Like sleep, we will knit up the raveled sleave of care.  All right, look, I read all the advice columns. I've read similar stories over and over. But now it's happening to me, which makes it slightly more important.

    146 comments