Posts tagged “amy collier”

  1. Amy Collier's previous work for The Toast can be found here. E.T. doesn't give in to Scientology. The teens of Clueless were alive the whole time. The New Yorkers of Do the Right Thing do not surrender to Mussolini's tyranny. None of the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park get into college. Sophie chooses not to run for office. She's got enough going on. In Waiting to Exhale, Savannah finally exhales and thus cheats death once…

    38 comments
  2. Amy Collier's previous work for The Toast can be found here.

    You're holding someone for ransom
    Money (That's What I Want)

    17 comments
  3. Amy Collier's previous work for The Toast can be found here.

    1. High Reflective White:

    More reflective than a dialogue with Socrates, more reflective than the exiled Dostoevsky during his sentence in Siberian prison, more reflective even than Jesus when he prayed at The Garden of Gethsemane in the hours before his impending death, High Reflective White blinds you with enlightenment.

    2. Polar Bear:

    46 comments
  4. Amy Collier's previous work for The Toast can be found here.

    Poodles: Bloodhounds: Chow-Chows: Chihuahuas: large mops:…

    126 comments
  5. Amy Collier's previous work for The Toast can be found here.

    His roommate, Evan's ice cream

    His classmate's answers to the test

    His roommate's Wheaties, tucked on the shelf behind his roommate's note about not eating his food or I'm going to fucking come after you Chris

    This really cute golden lab puppy someone tied to a post outside of a cafe

    34 comments
  6. It's not murder if the murderee is sleeping. It's not malpractice if the patient's anesthetized. It's not theft if no one's home. It's not battery if you're hitting someone who is both female but also pregnant. It's not a bank robbery if you're a cowboy and you're in the Old West and you point a gun at the teller and ask him to hand over "All the money" and you leave the bank with many bagfuls…

    21 comments
  7. "You're a wizard, Harry," Hagrid said. "And you're coming to Hogwarts." "What's Hogwarts?" Harry asked. "It's wizard school." "It's not a public school, is it?" "No, it's privately run." "Good. Then I accept. Children are not the property of the state; everyone who wishes to do so has the right to offer educational goods or services at a fair market rate. Let us leave at once."

    ***

    "Malfoy bought the whole team brand-new…

    115 comments
  8. DO MEN CRY?

    The Female Tear Duct

    In women, tears flow from the eyes and excess tears flow through the tear duct into the nasal cavity. The female's ample and visible tear flow makes it obvious to surrounding males when she is menstruating, unable to engage in fruitful intercourse, and thus may be avoided. The Male Tear Duct

    In the male, tears are redirected to the salivary glands so…

    26 comments