Stardate: I don't fucking know. This isn't the Captain's Log, it isn't an anybody's log, so excuse me if I don't situate myself in time by coordinating with the music of the goddamn spheres or the last time Betelgeuse fucked the Milky Way or whatever. Pardon the ever-loving cockshit out of me for marking time by carving Roman numerals -- fucking yes Roman numerals, as in Rome, as in Earth, as in where human beings are supposed to…