When I saw the little red notification this morning, my heart both sank and hissed in delight within me. How he has sunk, I thought to myself, and I was not at all wrong. You abject, you pathetic, you craven child, to come crawling to me, begging me to approve of whatever vile little endeavor you have cobbled together to convince yourself that you exist. How like you, at this late point, to suggest to me…

I am a celebrity magnet. They keep finding me, lured by something deep within my DNA that makes them want to revolve for one fleeting moment in my orbit. Obviously, I provide some sort of validation of their worth. Maybe they see in me a reflection of their dreams and desires, what they could have become if only, if only ... How else to explain this fantastic series of events? 1961 - My first brush with…