Posts tagged “haiku”

  1. No really, what would
    Tilda Swinton do? I am
    super curious.

    90 comments
  2. Are you real? Well, yes. Is it raining outside now? ...I'm in a basement.

    *

    The Dali show, from seven years ago, I missed. Can I still go now?

    *

    Who replaces your American flags? May I speak with them? URGENT.

    *

      We close at five. If I arrive at five, when would I need to leave? Five.

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    I found a Miro in my attic. Can you buy…

    75 comments
  3. Anna Pulley’s previous work for The Toast can be found here. 

    Fifty Shades of Spay

    Our heroine finds

    herself enslaved by the CUTEST

    tripod tabby.

    *

    Fifty Shades of Stay

    Surprise! That “contract”

    you signed was for a time-share

    in Provincetown!

    *

    Fifty Shades of Gay

    A bisexual

    is born and no one questions

    her identity.

    *

    20 comments
  4. Girl has sexual

    awakening with teacher/

    roommate/friend. Dies.

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    Girl has horrible,

    traumatic past, present, and

    future. Then she dies.

    *

    Girl has sexual

    awakening with drug addict.

    Drug addict dies.

    *

    Girl has sexual

    awakening. Kills her

    mother/lover for “funsies.”

    *

    39 comments
  5. Petite Red Head and Caliente Latina Roommates Surprise the Pizza Delivery Man

    With a lecture on

    how his employer should

    compost pizza boxes.

    *

    Two Blondes Engage in Some Much-Sought-After Pussy Play

    Susan and Chris knew

    33 comments
  6. Where are all the real people?????

    Open-minded,

    non-judgmental girls only please!!!

    No bisexuals.

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    Why is a good friend so hard to find??

    We must free the

    libido from orgasmic

    tyranny! Namaste!

    *

    36 comments
  7. Picture foreplay that
    lasts longer than a few minutes.
    Now, add crying.

    30 comments
  8. Three Haikus

    Have we met? The way
    we navigate this far, tired
    planet is the same

    15 comments