Posts tagged “harry potter”

  1. *WITH THE IMPORTANT CAVEAT THAT THE OFFICIAL LINE RIGHT NOW IS THAT HER SHELL CORPORATION WAS CREATED SO SHE COULD PURCHASE PROPERTY PRIVATELY AND WITHOUT FANFARE, WHICH IS CERTAINLY POSSIBLE, I DON'T MEAN TO IMPLY SHE IS 100% A TAX DODGER BUT IT CERTAINLY RAISES SOME QUESTION, OKAY, BACK TO THE FAN FICTION NOW, AGAIN BEARING IN MIND THAT THIS IS JUST FOR THE SHEER DELIGHT OF LIBERTARIAN HERMIONE

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  2. 1. Slytherins definitely have the best music taste.

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  3. This is the definitive comparison of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles as other foursomes.

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  4. Well, I guess...I guess it's time to call it. PBS – the Public Broadcasting Service – just filmed a video investigating Ronbledore.

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  5. "Hermione, you are honestly the most wonderful person I've ever met," said Ron weakly, "and if I'm ever rude to you again --" He broke off suddenly. "This just says DO YOUR OWN GODDAMN WORK in fourteen languages."

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  6. Previously in this series: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.  "Should it be wizards first, then?" she asked. "We're all human, aren't we? Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving." Harry looked at Kingsley. His mouth opened slightly, then closed. "I will give you the gift of silence in exchange for that," he said at last, turning and reaching for the door. "Let's go."

    ***

    "While you can…

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  7. Previously in this series (yeah, we’re doing all seven): Ayn Rand’s Harry Potter and Order of the Phoenix. "Felix Felicis," Professor Slughorn said in hushed tones, holding the amber bottle up to the light. "Liquid luck, they call it. Bottled fortune. Brewed correctly the drinker of this potion will be lucky in all their endeavours, but be warned...excessive consumption is highly toxic and can cause extreme recklessness." Harry knocked over his chair and…

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  8. Severus Snape

    After his death they found hidden in his room at Hogwarts the complete discography of Depeche Mode and Nine Inch Nails, along with a “Pretty Hate Machine” poster. This surprised no one.

    Minerva McGonagall

    It’s been rumored for decades that McGonagall is a lover of showtunes. The most commonly cited piece of evidence to this is the frequent singing of “Ladies that Lunch” and “Defying Gravity” that…

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  9. Previously in this series (yeah, we’re doing all seven): Ayn Rand’s Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. “You're a prefect? Oh Ronnie! That's everyone in the family!" Ron looked nervously at Harry. Harry betrayed nothing. You can be a wizard, Ron remembered, and you can be a man; it is good to be both, if you can, but if you must choose, it is better to be a man and not a wizard than…

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  10. Previously in this series (yeah, we’re doing all seven): Ayn Rand’s Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Collectivism. "Cho Chang," Harry called from across the hallway, and quickly closed the distance between them, like some sort of sexually compelling locomotive. "The Yule Ball is tomorrow. I wish to acquire you for it. Say yes, now, with your mouth, before I cruelly crush it against my own, like some sort of sexual flower." "Oh. Harry,"…

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  11. "Ron, our loyal Knight, will become a time traveler. He will be sent back in time to some point in the 19th century to live out the rest of his days at Albus Dumbledore, our venerable King. The exact mechanics of his journey in time are unclear, though we do believe it is unavoidable, and that it will in fact be the very move that enables Harry’s eventual defeat of Voldemort (the checkmate) and that…

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  12. Previously in this series (yeah, we're doing all seven): Ayn Rand's Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. “What was there to be gained by fighting the most evil wizard who has ever existed?" said Black, with a terrible fury in his face. "Only innocent lives, Peter!" "You don't understand!" whined Pettigrew. "He would have killed me, Sirius!" "THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!" roared Black. "DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE…

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  13. Previously: Ayn Rand's Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone.  "Steal Dad's Anglia to fly to Hogwarts?" Ron cried in astonishment. "Mum would never let us hear the end of it!" "The question isn't who is going to let me," Harry said, already climbing into the driver's seat and making an informed, personal decision about whether or not he chose to wear a seatbelt, "it's who is going to stop me.”

    ***

    "A…

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  14. "You're a wizard, Harry," Hagrid said. "And you're coming to Hogwarts." "What's Hogwarts?" Harry asked. "It's wizard school." "It's not a public school, is it?" "No, it's privately run." "Good. Then I accept. Children are not the property of the state; everyone who wishes to do so has the right to offer educational goods or services at a fair market rate. Let us leave at once."

    ***

    "Malfoy bought the whole team brand-new…

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  15. Others will try to smear and discredit me. This is how you will know I am telling you the truth about Ronbledore. The following are comments that various haters and deniers have attempted to leave on every Ronbledore-themed article I have written over the last several months. I do not know if they are all governed by the same shadowy hand, or if their name is Legion. I do know that their objective…

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