All credit to Alexandra Petri, by the way, for bringing this fact into my life completely unsolicited and of whom I will always endeavor to be worthy. But, yes, W. Somerset Maugham, who described himself in his own autobiography as being "in the first rank of second-raters," one time had a sex dream about Percy Shelley.

As you may have realized by this point, one of my favorite pastimes is creating imaginary relationships between people who may or may not actually exist inside of my head. This is my right and privilege as an American, and it fills me with great joy from morning til night. Another hobby of mine is maintaining a vague but enthusiastic knowledge of European medieval legends. The Middle Ages were a wonderful…

So. As you may or may not know, Wilde went on a speaking tour of America in 1882, and it was marvelous (Henry James didn't care for it; Henry James called him a "tenth-rate card" and an "unclean beast"; Henry James can go suck an egg). He lectured and gave interviews and he sold out concert halls and he very possibly had sex with Walt Whitman. If you have not already read Neil McKenna's nearly-perfect…