Posts tagged “horror”

  1. Hey Ladies!

    We're so excited to show our book cover here for the first time, and wanted to do a special Hey Ladies as a thank you to our fellow Toasties.

  2. Today in Ms. Frizzle's class we were learning about the body. "What body?" Carlos kept asking anyone who would listen. "Somebody." Ms. Frizzle laughed uproariously every time he said it. "Somebody! That's good, Carlos!" Ms. Frizzle was in a good mood today.

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  3. 2 Timothy 1:7

    For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. Except for you! Except for you! The spirit of fear has made your heart her home, and she will never leave you! No power, no love, no soundness of mind – the spirit of fear is yours!

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  4. "I'm Garth Marenghi. Author. Dreamweaver. Visionary. Plus actor. You're about to enter the world of my imagination. You are entering my Darkplace."

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  5. Top keywords for this week’s Buttered offerings: ‘Artisanal,’ ’Rich and creamy,’ ‘Hand-churned by our sleek, muscle-bound writers.’

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  6. Previously in this series.

    Your household is stunningly average.

    The same goes for your entire family aside from one eccentric relative who’s always up to something kooky.

    Your parents don’t like when you visit that relative for extended periods. You’ve never figured out why ... until now.

    You’re easy to read.

    There’s something peculiar about your neighbor/best friend/substitute teacher/piano instructor/school crossing guard/primary care physician/babysitter/county

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  7. Sarah Miller's previous work for The Toast, for which she has been paid by Nikki in a timely fashion, can be found here.

    To: evansackler-mayberry@website.com

    From: Sarahpetersmiller@writer.com

    Hi Evan,

    I did two stories in January (to refresh your memory one was an analysis of Beyoncé’s last 100 photographed outfits, “100 Times Beyoncé was Perfect,” each with its own

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  8. When I sleep, it's either dreamless or pulsing with nightmares. There's no in-between. ("But Mallory! Everyone dreams, you just don't always remem--" HUSH NOW.) The odds of a nightmare seem to increase if I take a late-afternoon nap or fall back asleep after waking up too early in the morning, but it's random enough that I generally have to pray to myself before losing consciousness that I won't serve myself anything horrifying while I'm sleeping.

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  9. Making friends is hard, especially if you’ve never had them. Most of us learn the intricacies of friendship and romance as we grow up, giving us years to navigate that complicated social, sexual, and emotional landscape… and just as importantly, giving us years to heal what pain and heartache come with the territory.

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  10. Previously in this series: Jack London

    All animals are underfed, black, and vaguely eldritch. They all hate you.

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  11. Jessie Guy-Ryan's previous work for The Toast can be found here. It was snowing. They told him when he took the gig--taking care of the resort during the winter season--that it'd be a lot of snow. A hell of a lot of snow. "I don't mind," he chuckled, "Don't gotta mow the lawn at least!" Shoveling the front walk was a bitch, though. At least it just had to be cleared for him and…

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  12. A Thousand Lives: The Untold Story of Hope, Deception, and Survival at Jonestown, Julia Scheeres For the kind of person who -- like my mother, WHO IS WRONG -- will always prefer non-fiction to fiction. It's awful, but you'll be able to sleep just fine after you finish it. The Thing About Life Is That One Day You'll Be Dead, David Shields For the profoundly secular. Blind Descent: The Quest To Discover…

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  13. - It’s the future and they take your thumbs when you get divorced

    - Evil car culture

    - A man discovers Fargo was real

    - A man discovers where the feminists bury the bodies, is killed

    - A man who prefers rap music to Creedence is doomed

    - A knitting circle accidentally casts a spell

    - Postman gets stuck in yard with angry dog, forever

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  14. If you are the kind of person who lives in a home with air conditioning and a dishwasher, please see yourself as serenely out the door as you entered it. For the rest of you -- I have only to look into your eyes and I know that you too have felt unequal to the task of washing a sink full of dirty dishes in a hot apartment. This is not tips for getting your…

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  15. I think remakes get a bad rap, I really do. We re-stage plays all the time, adding different time periods, costumes, and interpretations; why not movies? Movies are big complex things with many moving parts made by lots of people, why not open them up to a new take on the same material? The biggest problem modern remakes/adaptations have is hemming too close to the source material, having to hit-off a check list of "has…

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