Posts tagged “mallory captions western art history”

  1. aww, the buddy! he is too nude and angry to even play his lute, little pal

    85 comments
  2. The punishment of Prometheus (he was chained to a rock and had his eternally-regenerating liver torn out by an eagle every day) has always been a popular topic for Western artists, and why not; it's full of action poses and furious birds and gave everyone the chance to draw hands. A real win-win! And yet: Over time, folks got a little sloppy, and eventually, more often than not, Prometheus and the eagle looked like boyfriends…

    147 comments
  3. Where, I am pretty sure, it all began: Western Art History Is Just 600 Years Of Women Getting Out Of Bathtubs

    44 comments
  4. "I think it would be best if you go after all, Jeremy. Perhaps we can talk later, if you're able to stop saying such hurtful things."

    67 comments
  5. Samuel? Yes, I seem to recall him and his bullshit, I believe, but it's been such a long time

    67 comments
  6. you seem distracted, my love
    do i really
    you keep staring into the middle distance
    oh
    is that not you?
    i'm always mixing up you with the middle distance
    you look so much like the middle distance

    103 comments
  7. hello, "god" 
    the contents of this prayer I hold in my hand here just might interest you
    the real question is
    what's in it for me

    87 comments
  8. no, we mustn't kiss again
    Charles kissed someone and look what happened to him

    Charles died of fever
    well
    just to be safe
    we should never kiss again

    77 comments
  9. i don't know what you mean, Charles that is the door well it looks a hell of a lot like a window to me darling i'm so sorry but if that won't open i'm afraid there's no other way to get inside i came an awfully long way to see you ahh i know it's so terrible but nothing i can do about how windows are made…

    96 comments
  10. In case you're not familiar with the parable of the Prodigal Son, I'll give you the bare outline: A man has two sons, one of whom goes to his father, demands his inheritance, sails off and squanders every penny getting drunk with idiots.

    227 comments
  11. ah lads
    I fear this is the end for your old pal Handsome Pete
    I am undone by my own babeliness

    82 comments
  12. "Maybe another ribbon would h–"
    "It would not."

    75 comments
  13. close the door
    CLOSE THE DOOR
    cant you READ the SIGN
    jesus
    this song's not ready yet
    close the door!!

    104 comments
  14. how about this is this good yes im just going to tonelessly stare into the middle distance for a while but this is good though right yes when a woman starts staring into the middle distance that's how you know you're doing it right THIS WOMAN APPEARS TO HAVE NO NIPPLES HOW CAN YOU PARTY AT A TIME LIKE THIS buddy why would you touch it like that though…

    111 comments