Denial: This isn't possible. Doesn't the network know who is watching this show? Don't they understand genius? This is not possible. We have to save our show. Let's start a campaign, hashtag save my show that I and tens of other people watch. Anger: Television is trash. Bargaining: Maybe Netflix, Hulu, or Amazon will resurrect the show. Depression: I will never watch television again. Thank God for books.

Thomas Lawrence's previous work for The Toast can be found here. Recently I took it upon myself to do a mini-Nic Cage fest via Netflix for reasons that remain unexplained. These are my highly scientific findings. The Five Movies: Trespass Seeking Justice Stolen The Frozen Ground Rage Plot Descriptions: Cage protects his family from thieves. Cage gets involved in a secret group that kills “bad people.” Cage is a retired thief who steals to get his daughter…

Me: (types Hangover Part 3 into Netflix search bar)

Flickering. Loading Screen. More Flickering. Black.

Me: What the hell? (smacks computer)

Genderless Voice: I’m sorry, Tommy, I can’t let you do that.

Me: Who is this?

Genderless Voice: This is Netflix. 

Me: Oh. Hello, Netflix. Could you put on my movie?

Genderless Voice: The Hangover Part III is not

…

A series of illustrated affirmations.

The Killing

1. Gore-Tex

2. sun lamps

3. brass knuckles

4. family therapy

Seven films inspired by categories from the greatest gift of the internet: The Atlantic's gonzo Netflix generator.

1. Lesbian Detective Opposites-Attract Post-Apocalyptic Mysteries Set In The Victorian Era

Harpsichord and Cass: Wolf-Slayers, Crime-Fighters, Ladies of Leisure

PG, 1hr38m

After the telegrams stop coming from the Big City, and Aunt Marthe is taken away, Cassiopeia Twothorn and her erstwhile governess Miss Harpsichord are left to fend for themselves. But who (or

…

In a room lit only by the dim blue glow of his laptop screen, a man who regularly turns down rides to post-work happy hours and invitations to see old friends in order to get into his pajamas as quickly as possible and watch TV shows he's already seen alone in bed was suddenly overcome by the horrifying certainty that he is not truly known or understood by another single living human being.

Today is the last day you can stream Kids in the Hall on Netfix. Make it count. In the meantime, "Daddy Drank."

Gay And Lesbian Dramas You Will Watch With Your Socially Conscious Girlfriend Only Out Of A Sense of Political Obligation Thrillers Based On Novels Sold in Airports That You Have Also Seen At Your Grandmother's House Period Dramas, Non-Regency England, Non-Roaring Twenties Mind-Benders You Watched Alone On Your Laptop While Extremely High And Can't Bear To Be Reminded Of Now The Last Movie The Two of You Watched Together When You Were Still Happy, Before…

“This is how it is with Mary: If you want to know who she is, you ask theologians; if you want to know how to love her, you have to ask the people. In turn, Mary loved Jesus with the heart of the people, as we read in the Magnificat. We should not even think, therefore, that ‘thinking with the church’ means only thinking with the hierarchy of the church.” "Oh, my God, Real Housewives comes back tonight?…

To begin with, I think we can all agree that the title is awful. Because it is awful, and cutesy, and glib in the worst way. But the show is good--really good--and it gets better the more you watch, in the kind of way that makes it impossible to stop watching, or imploring your friends to watch, or writing vague, shocked reactions to plot twists on Twitter. And there's only thirteen episodes! So of course…