Posts tagged “nicole and mallory”

  1. This post originally appeared on January 7th, 2014.

    Previously in Canadian anthropological studies: Facts About Thanksgiving.

    1. Guess. It's as good a strategy as any.

    2. They are behaving towards you exactly as they always have, yet you somehow feel strangely guilty.

    3. Something has changed in the wind.

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  2. Nicole: I think it's very significant that you and I have discussed writing this piece since Winter 2013, and only now is it being put into Wordpress. We have been shying away from controversy for too long, let us no longer be silent: The three marriages on Modern Family are absolutely terrible, and none of these people should be together. Mallory: Modern Family is a show about people who are married but also hate each other. Marriage is…

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  3. I. The Motorcycle Crash
    II. Eaten By Bear at Zoo
    III. Slowly Crushed By His Collection of Sweet Lids
    IV. Beaten to Death By a Loan Shark
    V. Infection From Tattoo He Got With Third Wife
    VI. Burned Alive During The Wicker Man-Style Ritual That Stars Hollow Performs Every Eighteen Years

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  4. This post originally appeared on October 17th, 2013.

    Mallory left this morning. But not before this happened.

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  5. It's been a whole year since we launched this misandrist humo(u)r blog aimed chiefly at women who work as rare book librarians, and here we are! Let's talk about learning, and growing, and how our second year will see us finally convince Brittney Griner to be Mallory's girlfriend. Mallory: It is remarkable to think that a year has passed! Years always do, of course, in a strictly accurate sense the fact that a year has…

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  6. In the place of a Dark Lord you would have two Queens! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love us and despair!  Ortberg and Cliffe split ownership equally with the publisher, Nick Pavich, who prefers to remain behind the scenes. “I want to be the only white male in history who’s not offering an opinion about [the HBO…

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  7. If you do not like the things we approve of, we suggest you revisit your stance. You are still allowed to like and/or engage in the things we dis-approve of, you are just wrong. Previous installments can be found here. – Eds. The Toast Approves of the Following Things: 1. TRAINS. 2. Kristen Stewart, no matter what she does. 3. Katharine Hepburn's queerness as canon.

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  8. Welcome back to Gabbin' About God, in which Mallory uses her religious background to explain Christian-y things to Nicole. Most recently: the devil. Hi Mallory! Can you drop another knowledge bomb on me? Which Christian denominations believe in predestination, and which believe in free will? And, as a Protestant atheist who was raised Catholic (I know Catholics do the free will thing), how is predestination supposed to work? Why does anyone bother to…

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  9. As you may have noticed, we didn't get around to doing MY favourite posts in our little birthday celebration, so I will now list them for you, and talk a little bit about how they came to be. 1. Knight of the Swan, by Molly Minturn: When Molly sent this to us, I handled it like a little tiny baby bird, because it was so complete and well-written and generous, and I was…

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  10. Mallory: Today is our six-month birthday. The months are "rattling inside us like pennies in a tin Band-Aid box." Where has the time gone? (Into the past, presumably). Nicole, what were you doing last January 1st? Nicole: Before we go ANY further, I want to make it clear that I will be truly celebrating this birthday tomorrow, as our actual launch day involved hackers and tears and being on hold with our hosting provider all day,…

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  11. If you do not like the things we approve of, we suggest you revisit your stance. You are still allowed to like and/or engage in the things we dis-approve of, you are just wrong. Previous installments can be found here. – Eds. The Toast Approves of the Following Things: 1. Talking to a spam comment like it's a real person and being friendly to it. 2. Purely decorative hats on women. 3. Movies where something goes…

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  12. If you do not like the things we approve of, we suggest you revisit your stance. You are still allowed to like and/or engage in the things we dis-approve of, you are just wrong. Previous installments can be found here. – Eds. The Toast Approves of the Following Things: 1. Cheaper by the Dozen and Belles On Their Toes 2. Deep-dish, or "Chicago-style" pizza as a worthy equal in the wider pizza universe. 3.

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  13. Obviously, we love our original shirt, which will always have the ultimate hipster street credibility of being The First, but we put our heads together and decided to roll out one that a) you can still have before Christmas, b) comes in black, c) is hoodie-optional, and d) buries its misandry in plausible deniability:

    (Remember that you always have the option of taking to the sea.)

    That could mean

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  14. A Toast t-shirt (or tank, but not the military-industrial-complex kind*) that incorporates our little logo AND encourages its wearer and all on-lookers to ponder the wisdom of violent misandry? Of course you do. You have seven days, just like The Ring, and it'll be in your hot little hands (or those of your dearest friend or worst male enemy) for Christmas.

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  15. We emailed with the great Claire Zulkey, of Zulkey.com fame, and emoted a lot about our jobs and who that Nick dude is and our sustaining love for being goofs together.

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