1. Misshapen $9.95 blouse from H&M purchased without trying on and incapable of entertaining more than one breast at a time 2. Set of faded beach towels with name labels sewn in from summer camp featuring a) butterflies b) dolphins c) sunset or d) all of the above 3. Inner thigh friction and other jort-related injuries, including but not limited to severe camel toe requiring gynecological intervention…