Gretchen: So as far as I can tell, the goal of this book is to be something more sophisticated and legit than Ye Olde Tea Shoppe, while still being more accessible than Actual Beowulf.
You are a man: a worthy warrior, a hard-hearted hero, a mighty mail-warrior, a sturdy spear-bearer, a resolute retainer, an eager earl, a fierce-minded fighter, a stalwart soldier...
You deliver both insults and speeches exclusively in tight alliterative verse.
You are a pagan, and this is very sad.
You are a Christian, but in a suitably Germanic way.
Cassandra Rasmussen's last Old English translation for The Toast ("The Cat in the Hwæt") can be found here.
Goodnight, Rune. Goodnight, Stone. Goodnight to the sleeping king, laid alone. Goodnight goblets, and golden plates, Wondrous workmanship, wrecked by the Fates. Farewell to the Feasting Hall, felled by time, Goodnight to the ancient Gates, engraved with grime. Where has gone the great hall, where the golden seats? Goodnight to the grain bowl, the goodly meats.
Hark! We have heard tales sung of the great storm, And the raindrops that fell like cold, wet spears, how they smothered the unshining sun! There was Sally, sitter of stools, Batter of baseballs, brave in the outfield. The Warrior of Little League had fallen far! Slumped stool-sitter, and hater of sitting in stools, Wisher at the window, watching the whale-road deepen with water. A boy-child and her brother, I had before been bird-chaser, Bare-footed…
