Which Grand Duchess are you? Take this quiz and find out.

You go to a party where you don't know anyone. You:
a) Go home. There's no point meeting people you probably won’t like.
b) Remind partygoers that after an examination, their pupils remain dilated, and they should avoid looking at bright lights in order to prevent damage.
c) Go over to the DJ booth and play some music you like.

Is this the name of a prizewinning showcat, or a striking but forgotten example of eighteenth-century masculine nomenclature?

Other quizzes can be found here.

1. A Starry Night in Brazil
2. Before Sunrise
3. Night of a Thousand Stars

I’ve got two kinds of zealots on my Facebook feed: homeschoolers and Zumba enthusiasts. Can you guess which topic the following comments are in reference to?

"On fire!"
“I love how each participant has her own style and flair.”
“I am having the best time of my life right now.”

In no particular order, here are sixteen excerpts from back issues of Cat Fancy and Playboy magazines. Can you guess the source of each one?

She mesmerized me the first time I laid eyes on her.
She has a sweet, gentle nature and is very interested in what you are doing.
She is used to playing dress-up.

Do you like your job?

It’s fine

Hatchet is a 1987 Newbery-award winning novel by Gary Paulsen about a thirteen-year-old boy who survives in the Canadian wilderness for fifty-four days after a plane crash with little more than a hatchet and a sense of desperation. It has sold over two million copies and is beloved by an entire generation. First of all, no, you wouldn't. You're the type of person who takes survival quizzes while you're at work, carefully minimizing the screen…

Were you a stoner, a jock, a nerd, or a many-talon’d extraterrestrial in high school?

High school was a crazy time, wasn’t it? Hormones swirling, report cards looming, diseases riddling your planet until only you remain – it was wild for everyone. What group were you part of?

1. Uh-oh, you forgot about a major test in Econ today! You…

a. Smoke a joint. Everything’s

…

Henry Pollard -- You have a great head of hair, which is something -- it isn't nothing, not by a long shot -- but your "charming apathy" is a lot less charming than you think it is. Mostly it just looks like giving up. Things happen to you, and you let them happen; or they don't, and you let that happen too. Casey Klein -- You are not Casey Klein. You are reading a blog…

1. You’re on a desert island. You look down at the parachute next to you. What color is it?

a) Bluish b) Reddish c) Greenish d) None of the above 2. For years, you scoffed that skydiving was a generic way to have an adventure — as uninspired as bungee jumping or getting a tattoo during spring break in Daytona Beach. You insisted that people should make their own adventures, not just plunk down a…

Your friends would describe you as...

a. Practical but romantic

b. Adventurous

c. A rebel

d. A lover

e. A gold-digger

What minor role did you play in Fiddler on the Roof in middle school?

a. Fruma Sarah

b. The Constable

c. Bottle Dancer

d. Avram

e. Villager #4

 …

Previously: How to tell if you are in a Haruki Murakami novel.  1. You are on a train, but no one can find you. You are leaning out of your car window making cryptic statements about love to a man you have only just met. Your silhouette is impossible. 2. You are doing something you do not want to, for reasons you cannot explain, with someone you are obsessed with for no earthly reason.

Previously: how to tell if you are in an Iris Murdoch novel. An elephant mysteriously vanishes. A giant frog is waiting in your apartment. Your cat mysteriously vanishes. Two moons hang in the sky. Your wife mysteriously vanishes. A strange man comes to you and asks you to find a sheep, or a woman calls and asks for ten minutes of your time. You might be the protagonist in a novel or short story…

Have you found your heart swelling with a miasma of unidentifiable but vaguely exciting new emotions? Did you draw the heavy velveteen curtains against dusk’s dense and thrilling fog just now? You may be a character in a novel by prolific Irish-born British novelist Iris Murdoch. Please investigate your surroundings for the following items to determine whether or not you are part of a constellation of intellectuals trapped in a midcentury melodrama investigating the vagaries…