Pilot G-Tec pen, $3.95, Officemax. CPU: $.19 per overwrought diary entry.

Garlic press, $10.00, Ikea. CPU: $2.50 per clove. (Lost part of it after one use.)

UC Santa Cruz Banana Slugs T-shirt, $15.00, UC Santa Cruz Bookstore. CPU: $7.50 per wear. Funnier in theory.

No Run! tights, $18.00. CPU: $18 per wear. Got a run.