Recent studies suggest the water in California, there's plenty of it, and you shouldn't worry so much. Where's all the water? Just look at it. There's some right here, and also just behind you, from before, when you turned around and you weren't looking, but it was there. The water's plenty of it.

Recent studies suggest that it's very important that you come into this room right over here just now. Studies also suggest that it's equally important you do not waste time asking questions like "what room" and "why" and "why is this so important to you," but just step this way through the door very quickly and by yourself, immediately. The studies were conducted, and the evidence is conclusive: this room just over here is where…

Recent studies have confirmed what scientists have long suspected -- the average person is not actually "bad with names," as they so often tell you, but are in fact only bad at remembering your name, specifically. "There seems to be something about your name in particular, whatever it is, that proves difficult for the average person to find in any way memorable or valuable long enough to store in their long-term memory," lead scientist Maria Kempler…