Posts tagged “things mallory does for no reason”

  1. wait, are you Scottish? I thought you were from Birmingham this is unrelated but do you consider Coventry "the north" Do they not have cell phones in Scotland? Wait, did he just say "did you hear the truth squeaking?" Is everyone okay Why are they complaining about creaks in this beautiful mansion, that seems churlish Why can't they all agree on having one to three accents, I count six people and 900 accents in this one scene…

  2. If there's one thing life has taught me, it's that high school literature teachers love convincing you that Middle English is close enough to Modern English for you to stumble along without a translation through Chaucer's prologue, and I'm here to tell you that is some nonsense and you don't have to stand for it.

    173 comments
  3. Her impudence will only encourage the others!
    Majesty, her continued existence is an affront to the high and noble bloodline of the Bloodriddle family, and to the high office with which your grandfrere entrusted me!

    61 comments
  4. Previously.

    76. We say, on the contrary, that the papal pardons are not able to remove the very least of venial sins, so far as its guilt is concerned.

    no sin so wee and eensy it won’t droogle you down into hell, chums

    77. It is said that even St. Peter, if he were now Pope, could not bestow greater graces; this is blasphemy against St. Peter and against the pope.

    POPE vs. POPE

    28 comments
  5. No really, I mean it. Why don't we?

    Honest, no kidding – I think we could do it
    Well, what have they got that we haven't? Exactly!
    Well gee whiz, it can't be that hard

    96 comments
  6. Cut off my entire arm and face
    Move
    Throw myself into the whole sun
    Excommunicate myself from every church and religion any ancestor of mine has ever joined

    407 comments
  7. Previously. 

    46. Christians are to be taught that unless they have more than they need, they are bound to keep back what is necessary for their own families, and by no means to squander it on pardons.

    DON'T BUY HEAVEN JEWELS IF YOU CAN'T FEED YOUR FAMILY

    8 comments
  8. Babe, I Think I Have Seen A Mysterious Wizard
    I've Been Thinking About An Old Shipwreck, May I Tell You The Tale
    I've Been Warned About This Type Of Party In The Past But Still I Came

    119 comments
  9. WHY I WILL FIGHT GOD: OKAY

    THEOLOGY: I AM GOD'S WORST DAUGHTER AND I WILL FIGHT HIM UNTIL HE LOVES ME
    IF THERE ISN'T A GOD I WILL FIGHT ISN'T-GOD UNTIL IT BECOMES GOD AND LOVES ME TOO

    81 comments
  10. 32. They will be condemned eternally, together with their teachers, who believe themselves sure of their salvation because they have letters of pardon.

    OUCH BUT FAIR ENOUGH BECAUSE I HATE PRESUMPTION SO IT STANDS TO REASON THAT LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE DOES, "Hi, it's me, Heaven, I...believe everything is in order" fuck outta here

    30 comments
  11. "Sorry, I need to put you on hold – or not hold, I need to put the phone down for a second because it's a hotel phone and they have cords. There's no milk in my tea. I have to go get some milk, I'll be right back, please don't worry."

    62 comments
  12. Previously.

    16. Hell, purgatory, and heaven seem to differ as do despair, almost-despair, and the assurance of safety.

    Sometimes I too have been able to distinguish between despair and almost-despair!!! One is slightly more bearable! 

    19 comments
  13. The following propositions will be discussed at Wittenberg, under the presidency of the Reverend Father Martin Luther, Lecturer in Ordinary at that place. Wherefore he requests that those who are unable to be present and debate orally with us, may do so by letter.

    Man loves the truth, wants to talk about it with dudes who can't be in Wittenberg at the time. Got it. Solid.

    112 comments
  14. The pocket of my own shirt, where I would be small and safe and warm and protected from wind and dust
    The inside of a big blue chair, like the meat insides, where all the stuffing and insulation lives
    Exactly on the place of any furniture where a small dog was just asleep on it so it's still warm and he's coming back any minute

    140 comments
  15. Is blue light from your smartphone, tablet, laptop, and other electronic devices keeping you from sleeping at night? No, it's not. We checked. We're science, and we looked into it.

    66 comments