Posts tagged “vampires”

  1. VAMPIRES AREN'T SOCIALISTS. I mean, you knew this, obviously, no one is unfamiliar with the aristocro-porn in vampire mythology, BECAUSE VAMPIRES ARE THE UPPER-CLASS RESPONSE TO THE FRENCH REVOLUTION PROBABLY, but still, this is subtext made text, friends! "Oh, wow, Mallory, did you just notice that vampires telegraph wealth and class privilege in literature?"

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  2. hi my names Carmilla I fell down outside your house
    can i live here for a while
    nothing gay will happen i promise

    what
    oh my god you are so beautiful
    oh, thank you
    who are you?
    thank you so much for letting me stay here
    i'll just tell my mom to go ahead without me

    where is she going
    haha

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  3. The premise of Dracula Untold is "What if Dracula was just a really good dad, you guys?" and that is more than enough premise for me. I am a very simple woman, and always have been, ever since I was a very simple child. I like movies set in vaguely medieval castle-towns. I like movies about guys who all they want to do is go back to their farms and wives a la Cincinnatus but dammit the world just…

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  4. “Undead. There’s a word I really hate,” I sighed. “It’s phony. I could puke every time I hear it. And furthermore, what’s with all these vampires?” “I like them,” said Phoebe. “Vampires are alright, I guess — but they don’t appeal to me,” I said. “I mean they’re alright if they go around flying off with lonely girls all the time, and like that, but you don’t do that kind of stuff if you’re a…

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  5. This post, and several others to appear in due course, are generously sponsored by a gentleman-scholar from County San Francisco, supportive of the production and assessment of nasty novels, dealing familiarly with gamblers, misandrists and flashy reprobates. Said gentleman-scholar has re-upped his donation, so keep pitching me, academics longing for freedom. Many of us are justifiably sick of vampire stories. In the last decade, popular culture has been saturated by them, in forms ranging…

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  6. This post, and several others to appear in due course, are generously sponsored by a gentleman-scholar from County San Francisco, supportive of the production and assessment of nasty novels, dealing familiarly with gamblers, misandrists and flashy reprobates. Said gentleman-scholar has re-upped his donation, so keep pitching me, academics longing for freedom.

    In the mid-1890s, two Victorian writers made a bet over which one of them could create a more frightening literary monster. The

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  7. Previously: I, Frankenstein. 11. There's an actual scene where two actual characters say "What if it's so obvious [these two characters are the villains] that it's not obvious at all?" 10. The titular academic vampires regularly attend vampire church. Vampire church. THEY GO TO VAMPIRE CHURCH ON SUNDAY NIGHTS. They are literally attending MIDNIGHT SABBATS, which is like the canonical, medieval definition of satanic but it's supposed to be a good thing. I -- look, I don't…

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  8. Our vampires are so different. They're so different, our vampires. Sunlight can't kill them. They don't sleep in coffins. They don't live forever. Crosses and garlic don't affect them. You can see them in a mirror. And they don't sparkle. Our vampires don't need blood to survive. They don't even like the taste of blood, that's how different our vampires are from the vampires you're thinking of, those other, different vampires. They love going to…

    48 comments